§ 282 Not a Family of Musicians
A self-made Western millionaire built the finest house in his home town. He imported decorators to furnish it, and managed to get it finished by the time his eldest son arrived from the East, where the youth had been completing his education.
The proud father escorted the young man through the shining new mansion, followed by the other members of the household. When the grand tour had been completed the millionaire inquired whether the son had any suggestions to make.
“Well,” said the young man, “to me it seems complete in every possible detail except one.”
“What’s missin’?” demanded the parent.
“You ought to have a chandelier in the music-room,” said the boy.
“All right,” said the father. “I’ll order one by telegraph to-night, but I’ll bet a thousand dollars there ain’t a damn one in the family can play it.”
§ 283 The Reverend Had a Little Lamb
The pastor of a colored church in Louisiana was haled before the board of deacons on serious charges. It was alleged that, although married, he had been caught in the act of embracing a comely female member of the congregation, in the vestry room. The evidence against him appeared to be conclusive. Three presumably unbiased witnesses testified to the fact.
The accused was asked whether he had anything to say in his own defense. He answered at length and with eloquence. He led off by pointing out that the word “pastor” was a Latin word meaning “shepherd.” Therefore, he properly was a shepherd. He also called the attention of the court to the fact that in pictures and paintings and more frequently in stained-glass memorial windows the Master Himself was shown as a shepherd, carrying a lamb.