“Her life is arduous. I have some reason to think that it wearies her. She rings for the masseuse at 10.30 A.M. and breakfasts in bed at twelve o’clock. Soon after that the chiropodist and the manicure and the hair-dresser begin to saw wood; 21 then the grooms and second footmen. At two o’clock she goes out to pat the head of the ten-thousand-dollar bull and give some sugar to the horses, all of whom have been prepared for this ordeal by bathing and massage.
“It’s great to be able to pat the head of a ten-thousand-dollar bull. It’s a pretty vanity. All the Fifth Avenue farmers indulge in it. Some slap them on the back and some poke them in the ribs with the point of a parasol, but the correct thing is to pat them on the head and say: Dear old Romeo!
“After a turn in the saddle Mrs. Revere-Chalmers led society until midnight. With her a new spirit had arrived in the ancient stronghold of the Yankee.
“I began to learn things about Harry––a big, blond, handsome youth who had traveled much. He had been to school in New York, London, Florence, and Paris, and had graduated from Harvard. For a time he called it Hahvud, but passed that trouble 22 without serious injury and put it behind him. In the European stage of his career he had been attacked by lions, griffins, and battle-axes and had lost some of his red blood. There he had acquired a full line of Fifth Avenue dialect and conversation with trills and grace notes from France and Italy. He had been slowly recovering from that trouble for a year or so when I met him. Now and then a good, strong, native idiom burst out in his conversation.
“Harry was a man without a country, having never had a fair chance to acquire one. He had touched many high and low places––from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the lowest depths of the underworld. Also, he knew the best hotels in Europe and eastern America, and the Duke of Sutherland and the Lord Mayor of London, and Jack Johnson, the pugilist. Harry knew only the upper and lower ends of life.
“He was an extremist. Also, he was a prolific and generous liar. He lied not to 23 deceive, but to entertain. There was a kind of noble charity in his lying. He would gladly perjure his soul to speed an hour for any good friend. His was the fictional imagination largely exercised in the cause of human happiness. Now and then he became the hero of his own lies, but he was generally willing to divide the honors. His friends knew not when to believe him, and he often deceived them when he was telling the truth.
“Early in April, Henry Delance came to me and said: ‘Soc, you’ve been working hard for years, and you need a rest. Let’s get aboard the next steamer and spend a fortnight in England.’
“I had little taste for foreign travel, but Betsey urged me to go, and I went with Henry and his wife, their daughter Ruth and the boy Harry, and sundry maids and valets. We had been a week in London, when Henry and the Mrs. came into my room one day, aglow with excitement. 24 Mrs. Delance was first to address me.
“‘Mr. Potter, congratulate us,’ said she. ‘We find that Henry is a lineal descendant of William the Conqueror.’
“‘Henry, it is possible that William could prove an alibi, or maybe you could,’ I suggested.