“‘IT’S THE VAN ALSTYNE CREST,’ I SAID. ‘IT’S A PROOF OF RESPECTABILITY.’”
“‘“Nothing––at least, yours’ll cost nothing, Bridget. I shall be glad to buy one for you.”
“‘The simple girl thanked me, and I found the Maloney crest for her, and had the plate made and neatly engraved on a hundred sheets of paper.
“‘Next week the Pointview Advocate will print this item: “Miss Bridget Maloney, the genial chambermaid of Mrs. Socrates Potter, uses the Maloney crest on her letter-heads. She is said to be a lineal descendant of his Grace Bryan Maloney, one of the early dukes of Ireland.”
“‘Bridget is haughty, well-mannered, and a neat dresser. She’s a pace-maker in her set. Even the high-headed servants of Warburton House imitate her hats and gowns.
“‘Yesterday Katie O’Neil, one of Mrs. Warburton’s maids, came to me for information as to the heraldry of her house. 88 I found a crest for Katie; and then came Mary Maginness; and Bertha Schimpfelheim, the daughter of a real German count; and one August Bernheimer, a young barber of baronial blood; and Pietro Cantaveri, our prosperous bootblack, who was the grandson of an Italian countess; and so it goes, and soon all the high-born servers of Pointview will be supplied with armorial bearings.
“‘These claims to distinction shall be soberly chronicled in the Advocate. Not one is to be overlooked or treated with any lack of respect. On the contrary, the whole thing will be exploited with a proper sense of awe.’