IN WHICH SOCRATES INCREASES THE SUPPLY OF SPLENDOR
“In due time the Society of Useful Women met at our house, and I was invited to make a few remarks, and said in effect:
“‘We are trying to correct the evil of extravagant display in America, and first I ask you to consider the cause of it. We find it in the ancient law of supply and demand. The reason that women love to array themselves in silk and laces and jewels and picture-hats and plumes of culture and sunbursts of genealogy lies in the fact that the supply of these things has generally been limited. Their cost is so high, therefore, that few can afford them, 92 and those who wear them are distinguished from the common herd. This matter of buying distinction is the cause of our trouble. Now I propose that we increase the supply of jewels, silks, laces, picture-hats, and ancestors in Pointview––that we bring them within the reach of all, and aim a death-blow at the distinction to be obtained by displaying them. There isn’t a servant-girl in this community who doesn’t pant for luxuries. Why shouldn’t she? I move that we have a committee to consider this inadequate supply of luxuries, with the power to increase the same at its own expense.’
“I was appointed chairman of that committee, and went to work, with Betsey and Mrs. Warburton as coadjutors.
“We stocked a store with clever imitations of silks, satins, and old lace, and the best assortment of Brummagem jewelry that could be raked together. We had a great show-case full of glittering paste––bracelets, 93 tiaras, coronets, sunbursts, dog-collars, rings, necklaces––all extremely modish and so handsome that they would have deceived any but trained eyes. Our pearls and sapphires were especially attractive. We hired a skilled dressmaker, familiar with the latest modes, and a milliner who could imitate the most stunning hats on Fifth Avenue at reasonable prices. Every servant in good standing in our community was permitted to come and see and buy and say ‘Charge it.’
“Mrs. Warburton’s ball for the servants of Pointview, to be given in the Town Hall, was coming near. It happened that the committee of arrangements included Marie and the young Reverend Robert Knowles. Their intimacy began in the work of that committee. For days they rode about in the minister’s motor-car getting ready for the ball and for the greater intimacy that followed it.
“Our ball sent its radiance over land and 94 sea. Sunbursts shone like stars in the Milky Way. A fine orchestra furnished music. Reporters from New York and other cities were present.
“The nurses, cooks, kitchen-girls, laundresses, and chambermaids of Pointview were radiant in silk, lace, diamonds, pearls, and rubies. The costumes were brilliant, but all in good taste. Alabaster? Why, my dear boy, they would have made the swell set resemble a convention of beanpoles. For the matter of busts, they busted the record!
“The only mishap occurred when Bertha Schimpfelheim––some call her Big Bertha––slipped and fell in a waltz, injuring the knee of her companion. To my surprise the brainiest of these working-folk saw the satire in which they were taking part, and entered into it with all the more spirit because they knew.