"The day set apart by the General Assembly and State Legislature for fasting and humiliation, confession of sin and prayer.
"Our pastor read the second chapter of Jeremiah, a great portion of which belongs to my own character as an individual; and is laid up as part of that provision which is to support me through the last stage in the wilderness, and through Jordan, over which I must shortly pass; laid in as a proof of the amazing long-suffering of God, and his readiness to forgive even the vile backslider in heart and life, as proclaimed in chapter three."
"SABBATH, Nov. 22."
"'Turn ye to the strong-hold, ye prisoners of hope.' Zech. 9:12. My Jesus — my hope, my stronghold, my safety, my Saviour, my portion, my life, my happiness — yes, my happiness, for safe I am and happy, though sometimes in heaviness, for yet sin dwelleth in me, and in others dear as my own soul; and though I know it is pardoned, and provision made for pardon to the end, yet, O it is bitter, and bitter let it be. I would not have it otherwise. Heal my depravity, O God; take sin out of this heart; O fill it with love to thee, and to all my fellow-sinners. My dear High-priest, it can be but a little further to Jordan. My
seventy years are run. Does not the ark of the covenant appear, going before me? am I not called to decamp and follow after? O my blessed, blessed High-priest, keep my eye fixed on thy person, and let me the little further follow thee step by step, foot after foot, without losing one mark all the way to Jordan; and there let me see thee. Blessed ark of the covenant, roll back the waters of terror, stand firm in Jordan, and bid me come unto thee, and set up the stones of memorial in a song of praise in the midst of Jordan.
"O then thy glory let me see,
Then cause thy face to shine on me,
And tune my heart, and tune my voice,
And language furnish to rejoice,
That all around may lend their tongue,
And sweetly join my dying song."
"SABBATH, December 8, 1812.
"'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thy hand against mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.' 'The Lord will perfect that which concerns me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.' Psalm 138:7, 8.
"I will no longer mourn over loss of memory; I think the Lord has more than made it up to me by his sensible presence while hearing and applying the sermon to my heart at the time; not only so, he enlightens my understanding; it opens more to the elucidations of my pastor; and though I forget the words and the order of his discourses, I am instructed in the knowledge of the subject and the Scriptures in general. Shall I deny the grace of God through fear or pride?
I see it not to be my duty. Can I attribute any thing to myself? No; shame and confusion of face belong to me, for my carelessness and idleness in the use of means during health and strength of body and mind. Never has God dealt with me as I sinned, but according to his own mercy, and in a way of great sovereignty. Let me record his great goodness, his tender mercies, and bless his name.