The enormous barbarian held his hand towards me, as though I were a small bird with feathers, and he puckered up his mouth, as if he would coax me to perch upon his forefinger. He kept gazing at me sideways, and now and again would whisk away his face and break into laughter the most unseemly.
I tapped the point of my sword on the floor in the instancy of anger.
“Feathers!” he cried. “By my good soul, they preen and bristle like the back of a goose. Why I would like to wear your quills in my bonnet and eat your grease in a pie.”
“I am afraid you do not apprehend, sir,” said I, striving to regain my composure, “with whom you hold speech. My name is Sarda; and Don Ygnacio, my illustrious father, both by descent and nurture was one of the first of his native province of Asturias. His family have served their country in a thousand ways, since the time of that Ruy Diaz whom we call familiarly the Cid.”
“Is that so, good Don, is that really the case?” The Englishman averted his countenance. “Then if you are the offshoot of such an illustrious trunk, you must be nearly as full of high breeding as an elderly bonaroba is full of dignity. Good Master Don What-do-you-call-yourself, I pray you do not make me laugh; the best surgeons in the county of Middlesex have warned me against flux of the brain and the spitting of blood. All the most accomplished minds of a pretty good house have died in that way.”
“Sir Englishman,” said I, “I grieve for this demeanour which you display; but the last of our name must follow the practice of his fathers. Your language is unseemly; it is to be regretted; the misprisions you have urged against my country cannot go unmarked.”
“Oh, my young companion,” said he, striving to be grave, yet failing to appear so, “I am persuaded I shall die a horribly incontinent death.”
With might and main he strove to behave more worthily. By taking infinite pains he was able at last to compose his coarse red features, bloated with the cup and stained by the sun, into an appearance of respectfulness; but the moment I bespoke him down went his chin, his enormous frame began to quiver, and forth came another roar that echoed along the rafters like the discharge of an arquebuse.
Such conduct put me out of countenance completely. Although my experience of the world was not such as to teach me how to meet it becomingly, I was determined that it should not go free. I had a passion to run him through the body, but this could not be done while he continued to pay no regard to my sword. Yet, as he was impervious to those methods of courtesy that were the pride of my race, I determined to adopt a mode more extreme. I was about to deal him a blow in the face with my hand, to bring him to a sense of his peril, when, like a wise fellow, the innkeeper made a diversion. And this for the time being changed the current of affairs.
He fished a ham from the cooking-pot, and laid it on a dish. No sooner did the Englishman discover this meat to be set against his elbow than out he whipped his dagger and fell upon it, being no more able to contain his inclination than are the beasts that perish. Perforce, I had to put up my sword and abide in patience until this barbarian had quelled his appetite. But I had not reckoned well if I thought he would do this easily. Never have I seen a man eat so rapidly, so grossly, so extensively as this gigantical foreigner. At last came a pause in this employ, whereupon he regarded me with the grease shining about his chaps.