“Why, good Don,” said he, “you look a little sharp yourself. You have travelled overlong upon your emptiness, or I am a rogue. You shouldn’t do it, my son, you shouldn’t do it. Always be courteous to the belly, and you will find her docile. Neglect her, good Don, and you will find her a jade. Landlord, will you have the goodness to bring a platter for our friend of the feathers, or must I be put to the trouble of fixing the point of my dagger into your filthy Iberian skin?”
The innkeeper, who appeared to have no desire to place the Englishman to this necessity, was mightily prompt in his obedience. Also, he fished a second ham out of the kettle, from which the Englishman cut a great portion, laid it on his own platter, and gave over the remainder to me.
“There is a marrow-bone to suck,” said he. “’Tis the sweetest luxury, that and a drop of sherris.”
Almost overcome with the pangs of hunger as I was, nothing was further from my intention than to accept a courtesy at these rude hands. Yet, after all, continence has a poor sort of virtue in the presence of a mistress of such despotic powers. Before I was aware that I had so much as taken the delicious platter into my keeping, I was conveying sweet smoking morsels into my mouth. And as the propitiation of so imperious a creature is at all times a delightful exercise, I had scarce felt my teeth in the delectable pig than I forgot my feud against the Englishman. Also I forgot my disgust at the manner of his feeding; for so choice were these dainty morsels that, after all, I considered it were better not to judge him harshly, as, perhaps, his methods were less unworthy than they seemed. And he, having dealt faithfully with his second ham, and having called for a pint of sherry in a voice like a trumpet, ere I was half upon my course, proceeded to smile upon my dealings with the marrow-bone in a fashion that can only be described as brotherly.
“He who stands not true to the trencher is a poor shot,” he said with a most encouraging smile. “A brave demeanour at meals is as necessary to the blood, the assemblance and the superstructure of man, as is piety, good principles, and contemplation to the soul. Therefore, eat away, my good little Don Spaniardo, and I pray you to forget that I am present. If my own poor courage could in anywise compare with yours I should be as near to perfection as is woman to deceit. Small in circumference thou art, fair shrew, but thou art a beautiful champer, and a notorious lover of flesh. How wouldst thou esteem a salad, my son, of the brains of a Jew, as Sir Purchas of my name, and worthy kinsman, always yearned for and so seldom obtained? He was a man if you please, and notoriously fine at his meals. I never heard of a man who was better before a leg of mutton with caper sauce; and he drank canaries until the very hour they came to measure him for his shell. How rarely do you find a great nature disrespectful to its knife and its nuncheon. Modesty in the presence of flesh meat is a menace to virtue. But for that I must have been twice the man that I am. Ha! my son, give my old pluck such bravery and I would pawn my pedigree and be a slave, for a liberal stomach is no friend to displeasure.”
“Yet, good Englishman,” said I, with a touch, I fear, of our northern slyness, “you seem to do pretty well.”
“Pretty well!” He sighed heavily. “Pretty well is pretty well; pretty well is neither here nor there. Landlord, bring me this minute a bite of cheese, about so big as the knee of a bee; and further, landlord, another cup of this abominable sherris, or by this hand I will cut your throat, as I am the son of a sainted Christian lady.”
To lend point to this drastic utterance, the Englishman scowled like a fiend and drew his sword. This weapon, like everything about him, was of a monstrous character, and he stuck it in the ground beside his stool.
CHAPTER IV
OF FURTHER PASSAGES AT THE INN
Upon this action, the innkeeper came forward fearfully, for he felt that destruction threatened. When he had replenished the cup of his remarkable guest, I was fain to observe its curious nature. Its mouth was as wide as a bowl; and as the body which contained the wine was in a right proportion to the rim, it had rather the appearance of a pancheon than a cup of sherry. It was cast in silver, was gorgeously chased, while its whole device was quaint and ingenious. Indeed, I marvelled how one so poor as this innkeeper should have an article of so much worth and beauty in his possession.