[7] Not long since Parish-Clerks, with saucy airs,
Apply'd King David's Psalms to State-Affairs.
Some certain Tunes to Politicks belong,
On both Sides Drunkards love a Party-Song.
[8] If full a-cross the Speaker's Chair I go,
Can I be said the Rules o'th' House to know?
I'll ask, nor give offence without intent,
Nor through meer Sheepishness be impudent. [xvii]
[9] In Acts of Parliament avoid Sublime,
Nor e'er Address his Majesty in Rhime;
An Act of Parliament's a serious thing,
Begins with Year of Lord and Year of King;
Keeps close to Form, in every word is strict,
When it would Pains and Penalties inflict.
Soft Words suit best Petitioners intent;
Soft Words, O ye Petitioners of Kent! [xviii]
[10] Who e'er harangues before he gives his Vote,
Should send sweet Language from a tuneful Throat.
Pultney [xix] the coldest Breast with Zeal can fire,
And Roman Thoughts by Attick Stile inspire;
He knows from tedious Wranglings to beguile
The serious House into a chearful Smile;
When the great Patriot paints his anxious Fears
For England's Safety, I am lost in Tears.
But when dull Speakers strive to move compassion,
I pity their poor Hearers, not the Nation:
Unless young Members to the purpose speak,
I fall a laughing, or I fall asleep.
[11] Can Men their inward Faculties controul?
Is not the Tongue an Index to the Soul?
Laugh not in time of Service to your God,
Nor bully, when in Custody o'th' Rod; [xx]
Look Grave, and be from Jokes and Grinning far,
When brought to sue for Pardon at the Bar. [xxi]
If then you let your ill-tim'd Wit appear,
Knights, Citizens, and Burgesses will sneer.
[12] For Land, or Trade, not the same Notions sire
The City-Merchant, and the Country-Squire;
Their Climes are distant, tho' one Cause [xxii] unites
The Lairds of Scotland, and the Cornish Knights.
[13] To Likelihood your Characters confine;
Don't turn Sir Paul out, let Sir Paul resign.
In Walpole's Voice (if Factions Ill intend)
Give the Two Universities a Friend;
Give Maidston Wit, and Elegance refin'd;
To both the Pelhams give the Scipios Mind;
To Cart'ret, Learning, Eloquence, and Parts;
To George the Second, give all English Hearts.
[14] Sometimes fresh Names in Politicks produce,
And Factions yet unheard of introduce;
And if you dare attempt a thing so new,
Make to itself the Flying-Squadron true. [xxiii]
[15] To speak is free, no Member is debarr'd:
But Funds and National Accounts are hard:
Safer on common Topicks to discourse,
The Malt-Tax, and a Military Force.
On these each Coffee-House will lend a hint,
Besides a thousand things that are in Print.
But steal not Word for Word, nor Thought for Thought:
For you'll be teaz'd to death, if you are caught.
When Factious Leaders boast increasing strength,
Go not too far, nor follow ev'ry Length:
Leave room for Change, turn with a grace about,
And swear you left 'em, when you found 'em out,
[16] With Art and Modesty your Part maintain:
And talk like Col'nel Titus, [xxiv] not like Lane; [xxv]
The Trading-Knight with Rants his Speech begins,
Sun, Moon, and Stars, and Dragons, Saints, and Kings:
But Titus said, with his uncommon Sense,
When the Exclusion-Bill was in suspense,
I hear a Lyon in the Lobby roar;
Say, Mr. Speaker, shall we shut the door
And keep him there, or shall we let him in
To try if we can turn him out again?