A British army, as it was,--is,--and ought to be

by James Campbell

In further proof of this, I must beg the reader's attention to what I am going to mention, and which actually occurred in a regiment that shall be nameless.

The day was fixed upon which it was to be reviewed. Its commanding officer was suddenly taken ill, and he was confined to his bed. So far had preparations been carried for this great event, that even the large cards, as was the practice in those days, containing the manœuvres to be performed, had been made out for the inspecting General. This illness of the Lieutenant-Colonel was an event quite unforeseen, and the senior Major, a good-natured old gentleman, whose military career had been in the West Indies, and who was more agreeably occupied at the time than in studying Dundas, was completely thunderstruck when he found that at the shortest notice he had to make up his mind to assume the command on this truly alarming occasion; for the General was well known to be a first-rate tiger. It was, therefore, a very hopeless case with the gallant Major, as he really could not at any time manœuvre a battalion, and much less under such trying circumstances; and what made matters worse, his Lieutenant-Colonel would rarely allow him to try whether he could do so or not, for he was one of those commanders who carried on every thing himself, aided by his adjutant, and a well trained set of drummers, whom he kept in constant practice.

His Adjutant was a well-meaning man, and in kindly feelings, and good will towards the Major, and in his great zeal for the reputation of his corps, he went with the beautifully written out card of the manœuvres (the produce of many an anxious hour of the Lieutenant-Colonel's valuable time) to the Major, to explain it fully to him, and also comfort him with the hope, that as the regiment had most diligently practised every march, counter-march, and wheel of it, things must go off well, if he would only not be alarmed. Accordingly, that very evening, well prompted by the Adjutant, he actually got the regiment through it handsomely enough. At night the Adjutant went to see and condole with his most yellow, billious-looking commander. "How will ever the poor Major get through with the review to-morrow?" "O, there is no fear whatever of him, for he put the regiment through it tolerably this evening." "Through what, Sir—have you presumed to show him my manœuvres?" "Yes, Sir, but I thought there could be no harm in doing so, as——" "You thought, Sir—no harm, Sir. Go immediately, Sir, and bring back my manœuvres, and let Major —— make out a review for himself—he shall certainly not have mine."

The cards were consequently delivered up to their unselfish owner. But the Adjutant, who flattered himself, that he was also something of a manœuvrer, though, at the risk of irritating the Lieutenant-Colonel, thought it would be well, before he should terrify the Major out of his senses with this awful intelligence, to sit down and concoct a very pretty review—one, at all events, which would show that the battalion knew how to act against an enemy in its front and rear, and probably upon both its flanks at the same moment. In short, he went that very night with a splendid plan, which he proudly and confidently displayed before the astounded Major; who, at last, after a good deal of trouble, made so far to comprehend it, that he was able next morning, at five o'clock, to put the regiment through it very tolerably. But this was rather sharp work upon all concerned; for the grand review was to take place at 11, A.M.—the Major was quite hoarse—and a new card had to be finely written out for the General.

The review came off admirably—the Major (his voice cleared by the yolks of eggs) was not often wrong; at least this was not observed, and it did not signify, as both officers and men had fully determined to do well, not only on the Major's account, but on their own.

At the long wished-for conclusion, the General came solemnly forward, and in front of the regiment, really covered the blushing, but exhausted, Major with praises and honourable acknowledgments, and approbation of his own and the corps' most admirable performances.

On the return of the Adjutant from the field, he, as in duty bound, waited upon his Commanding officer. "I suppose, poor —— made a very pretty business of it to-day?" "A most admirable review; and I have, upon no occasion, ever seen the regiment do better; so much, so, that the General expressed in the strongest terms his admiration of our day's performance!"

This was quite enough, but the symptoms of the Lieutenant-Colonel's attack of bilious fever, were not alleviated by the account of the Major's unlooked-for success. Such were the men to whom the command of our regiments was too often confided, and who generally contrived to render soldiers indifferent to events, and reckless in their conduct.

I had the luck to be stationed in the West of Ireland under a General, who considered that nothing tended so effectually to make first-rate soldiers, as to accustom them to prolonged exposure, under arms, to deluges of rain, and to all kinds of weather; and certainly in that part of Ireland, there was no want of his favourite specific—rain. I must, however, at the same time acknowledge, that of this he himself took ample doses. Two other regiments, and the one to which I belonged, and a body of cavalry and artillery, formed his brigade; and the more gloomy and threatening the weather, the more certain were we of a repetition of the General's admired refrigerant system, for his practice in this line was extensive and unwearied; we had frequently, on such occasions, to take up favourite positions, and to make long and fatiguing excursions, over high sand-hills, which were some miles distant from our cantonments. But, notwithstanding this excellent treatment, our soldiers did not become a whit the more water-proof; and many of them most provokingly went into hospitals with violent pains in their backs, bones, &c. and which, to the General's surprise, often terminated in fever.

How differently were Sir Thomas Brisbane's kindly feelings evinced for those placed under his care (indeed Sir Thomas Picton always wished his commanding officers to act in the same manner). No officer commanding a corps was allowed, under any pretence, to keep his men unnecessarily under arms, especially after a march. As soon as the soldiers reached their cantonments, or ground of encampment, they were ordered to be instantly dismissed, and allowed to go into their quarters or tents to take off their accoutrements, knapsacks, &c. so that they might as soon as possible recover from the fatigues of the march; for keeping men standing, after being heated, till they became chilled, was always found to be injurious to their health.