The tender of a cigar in the South is a recognition of comradeship which is a most potent mollifier. At last they brought their guns to the ground arms, parade rest, and the leader, an ex-Confederate officer, drawled out, "Wall, Yank, what do you want of we uns?"
"Just as you please, gentlemen, peace or war?"
"We are smoking the pipe, or cigar, of peace, Yank."
"So mote it be, brothers," said I, knowing that they were all members of the mystic tie. "We meet on the level, let us part on the square."
"So mote it be," was the response in a regular lodge room chorus.
A few quick signs were exchanged between chair and settees, the ice was broken, the "lodge was opened in due form;" there was no longer any restraint, for we were all members of the most ancient fraternal order on earth, of which the wisest man who ever lived was founder. They had not known this before. The white dove descended, and they promised on the sacred oath which makes all men brothers, to molest the negroes no more. We had a jolly good time, gave each other the Grand Masonic grip and departed to our homes.
As I walked, I saw several dark figures dodging from tree to tree, and all that night my dusky-hued friends kept vigilant watch and ward about our cottage. The next morning many valiant war-men in time of peace, but peace-men in time of war, told me what brave fighting they would have done for my protection had I but called upon them to do so.
I stocked the lake with excellent food fish obtained from the National Fish Commissioner, built good sidewalks, arched by beautiful shade trees; and many prominent men bought lands in our town. We passed an ordinance forbidding the use of our public thoroughfares to cattle and hogs, and for a while the air quivered with the squealings of infuriated razor backs.
Our valiant city marshal would pounce upon each one of these long-snouted swine; then came the tug-of-war, amid clouds of dust; down went marshal and razor-back, the nose as long and sharp as a ploughshare cleaving the earth near the sidewalks lined with laughing people. Our great Floridian always triumphed, and his pig-ship was incarcerated in the town "pound" until owner paid charges and penned his property outside city limits.
Once I saw a terrific contest between one of these long-legged, long-nosed porkers and the lone, pet alligator of our lake. His pig-ship was enjoying a drink when Mr. 'Gator seized him by the snout, the porcine braced and yelled; the 'gator let go in amazement; the pig turned to run; 'gator seized him by the leg, then Greek met Greek, teeth met teeth, till' the saurian struck him with his mighty tail, and all was over; the alligator and the porker lay down in peace together with the pig inside the 'gator.