CHAPTER XIX.
POST-OFFICE SITES.
Embarrassing duty—An exciting Question—A "Hard Case"—Decease of a Post Master—The Office discontinued—The other side—Call at the White House—The Reference—Agent's Arrival—Molasses Incident—An honest Child—Slicking up—The Academy—Stuck fast—The Shoe Factory—A shrewd Citizen—The Saw Mill—A Tenantless Building—Viewing the "Sites"—Obliging Post Master—The defunct Bank—A Funeral Scene—The Agent discovered—Exciting Meeting—"Restoration Hall"—Eloquent Appeals—A Fire Brand—Committee on Statistics—Generous Volunteers—Being "put down"—Good-nature restored—The Bill "settled"—A Stage Ride—Having the last Word.
Of all the troublesome matters that have to be passed upon and decided by the Head of the Post-Office Department, the settlement of controversies involving the location of small post-offices, is undoubtedly the most perplexing, and difficult of adjustment.
By such cases we are forcibly reminded of attempts which we have witnessed in our younger days, to soothe the troubled breasts of an angry swarm of bees, destitute of a queen, and uncertain where to "locate." Whoever tried to settle the question before they settled, was pretty sure to get well stung for his pains.
The difficulty above referred to arises from the conflicting, contradictory representations made to the Department by interested parties, governed by as great a variety of motives as the number of individual whims and interests depending upon the settlement of the "vexed question." Notwithstanding the voluminous documents and geographical information usually tendered in these cases, those with whom the final decision rests, often find themselves perplexed beyond measure, to know what is for the true interests of a majority of the citizens—that being the only object aimed at by the Department—and deem it necessary, occasionally, to refer the subject to a Special Agent, with instructions to visit the neighborhood, make a personal inspection of the different sites proposed, and decide, if possible, what the public interest and convenience demand.
In some instances, where the emoluments of the office itself would not exceed the sum of fifty dollars annually, and where its entire abolishment would not prove any serious inconvenience, a whole neighborhood has been thrown into the most intense excitement, and feuds and animosities have been engendered which the parties concerned will perhaps carry with them to the grave.
But, like numerous other phases of post-office life, they furnish many admirable and instructive illustrations of human nature as it is.
During his experience, the writer has himself been frequently charged with the duty of becoming the medium for the settlement of local disputes such as have been alluded to; and a difficult and unpleasant duty has he often found it, though a better school for studying the selfishness and other hard points of the human character, cannot be desired.