It appears to us a strange dispensation of Providence, that such a perfect nest of loveliness should be invaded by inharmonious cat birds, and mischief-making wrens. But dissensions did creep in through the post-office. Up to a certain time, such universal peace prevailed among the inhabitants, that its two lawyers would have been beggared, had they not wisely resorted to farming, as a more reliable occupation than the occasional and precarious one of conducting some tame and straight-forward case, for a petty fee. But now the lawyers have enough to do, without turning aside from their regular profession; litigation is brisk and spirited in Harrowfork, and intricate and aggravated cases are numerous. Neighbors quarrel, church members sue each other, deacons go to law, the lawyers build fine houses, their families grow extravagant in dress—all owing to the post-office.
As long as old Uncle Crocker was post master, there was no difficulty. He seemed just the man for the business. He was looked upon as a part of the institution. Nobody thought of turning him out, more than they would have thought of petitioning for the removal of Harrowfork Hill.
But Uncle Crocker was not a permanent institution, notwithstanding the people's faith. One of his daughters married, and settled in the West. Excited by the report she made of the country, two of his sons followed her, and in the course of time, Uncle Crocker himself "pulled up stakes," retired from the post-office with honors, and migrated to the new territory.
As soon as the old gentleman's intention was made public, there was a slight flutter of interest in the community, in relation to the subject of a successor in his office. At first, if the name of a new candidate was hinted at, it was offered like Snagsby's expression of opinion in the presence of his wife—only as a "mild suggestion." But there was a good deal of partisan feeling latent in Harrowfork, and this was just the thing to develope it; and gently as the breeze had arisen, it freshened and increased, until it blew a perfect hurricane, that not only disturbed the whole county, but became troublesome even as far off as Washington.
At an early period of the excitement, the friends of an enterprising tradesman in the place had gone quietly to work, and procured his appointment to the office. It was quite a surprise to many of his fellow-townsmen, and no small sensation was produced when Deacon Upton was announced as the new post master. Many were dissatisfied, of course, and although the deacon had always been known as a quiet, inoffensive man, he suddenly became the subject of derogatory remarks. The personal friends who had been instrumental in securing the appointment, formed a spirited minority in his favor, while all who had not been consulted in the premises, naturally felt bound to range themselves on the side of his critics and opponents.
To make matters worse, a Presidential campaign followed Mr. Upton's inauguration, and politics "ran high." The post-office became the great centre and source of excitement. People met, on the arrival of the mails, and glanced over the editorial columns of their newspapers, and talked over their grievances. At length the great crisis came. A change of Administration was effected. And as the health or sickness of the nation appeared now to depend entirely upon the post-office incumbent at Harrowfork, this subject received prompt attention from all parties.
All sorts of communications, full of absurd complaints, contradictory statements, imperative commands, and angry denunciations, were now poured in upon the Post-Office Department at Washington. To show what human nature is at such times, and also to designate how perfectly clear and beautifully pleasant the duty of the appointing power becomes, in the progress of the snarl, we will give a few specimens of these conflicting missives.
Here is one version of the story:—
To His Honor, the Post Master General, at Washington.
Sir:
Your Honor's humble petitioners, legal voters in the town of Harrowfork, respectfully submit the following undeniable facts for your consideration.