First, the person who now holds the office of post master in our place, is totally unfit for the business. He was got in by a clique of interested individuals, who used underhanded measures for the purpose, and succeeded in their object only by blinding the eyes of the Department to the real character of the man, and the wishes of the people. Not one man in fifty is in favor of the present incumbent; and those who are, turn out generally to be persons who seldom write or receive letters, and have little or no business in connexion with the post-office.
Second, the office is left during a great portion of the time in the charge of the post master's father-in-law, a worthy old gentleman, but whose sight has somewhat failed him; so that when persons call for letters or papers, he has first to hunt up his spectacles, which he has been known to be near five minutes in finding; then he has to go over with the letters, &c., very slowly, to avoid making mistakes, very often taking them out of the wrong box at that, and after all, giving the wrong letters to people, or giving them none at all, when the fact is, letters for them have perhaps been lying untouched in the office for weeks. Such cases are nothing uncommon.
Third, valuable letters have been lost through carelessness on the part of persons in the office, or from less excusable causes, of which we leave your Honor to judge. Letters containing money are particularly liable to miscarry.
Fourth, it is a fact which merits your Honor's special consideration, that, in consequence of the dissolute habits of the post master's nephew, who attends in the office evenings, a not very respectable gang of young men are encouraged to hang about the doors till late at night, making it very unpleasant for the more sober citizens to go there for their mails.
Fifth, the present post master is a deacon of the church, and very sectarian in his views. There may be no direct connection between this circumstance, and the fact that the religious newspapers of different sects from his own, are apt to be lost or destroyed in the mails, while the "Helmet of Truth," a paper to which he is commissioned to obtain subscribers, is always punctually delivered! Your Honor's petitioners state this only as a remarkable coincidence, which may however have some bearing upon the case.
In view of these stubborn and undeniable facts, we the undersigned, legal voters in the town of Harrowfork, humbly petition your Honor, that the present post master be removed, and a more suitable person appointed in his place.
We also beg leave to suggest to your Honor's consideration, the name of Josiah Barnaby, as a fit and reliable candidate for the office, and a person who would be sure to give more general satisfaction to the community than any other available man.
Trusting that the foregoing statements will receive your Honor's early attention, and such official action as the merits of the case demand, we remain
Your Honor's respectful petitioners.
Signed by { Aminadab Fogle
{ and thirteen others.
This was certainly a strong case, and it would seem perfectly clear that "his Honor" should straightway remove Upton and appoint Barnaby to fill his place.