In pointrefax, Mr. Cheermon, when we looks at all de crosses and dotses of dis argyment, when we sees all its pros and cros, de delusion am forced upon us, roles bolus (nolens volens), so to speak, and in de langwidge of one of our country’s most illustrious poicks, “Dat do settle it.”
Havin’ foun’ den, my feller-sitterzens, by jiggernometrical injuction, de persac valyer of de quantitums k and l in de trombonial k-l-u, we will now perceed to exburden our conshusness of sum thoughts havin’ reffermence to de avowal u. If dat which needs no splainin’ may be made de subjec’ of splainatory logic, widout on de oder han’ rejucin’ de speaker to de distressin’ condishun of hyperbolus, I shall, in a brefe space of time, more or less, egshibit to dis orgunce de close anallumgy dat exists betwixt de avowal u, and de pussonal pronoun “you.” I takes it for granted, Mr. Cheermon, dat every individooal dat has a place in dis orguss resemblage, am fermilliar, either by “hearsay” or “theysay,” wid dat principul of de Common Law dat purvides dat whar wurds are to be miscomterpreted, dat de meanin’ is to be fastened onto um what am neares’ at han’, and dat if dey am already purvided wid a resonably far siggerfication, dat it shall be onlawful to prowl off in sarch of one what soots yer better. Dat pint bein’ settled, I will not do enny gemmen in dis orgunce de misrespex to persoom dat if a Klu-Krux wur to pint a six-bar’l blunderbuss under his oil-factory of smell, and say “you,” as loud and suddint as a clap of armytillery, dat he would disclude dat he meant sum odder feller, and fail to locomoshy in de odder direction. Takin’ den, my feller-sitterzens, de consummants k and l in de trombonial (trinomial) k-l-u, and it will be seen dat dey have close refermence to de avowal u, and visum versum, and dat in dese three alfumbettycle cosines, and de mistickle siggerfication detached to each, ar’ de whole substanshuation of de mystiffercation of de Klu-Krux-Klam.
Den, Mr. Cheermon and feller-sitterzens, if dese be de mos’ obdurous intenshuns of dose ruffumlians, duz it not, let me ax, bemoove this loil body to take immejit steps to surcumvalidate, deturrimerate, homswogglemerate, and murder-r-r— [This expression stuck in the speaker’s throat, for, being attracted from the up-stairs of his eloquence by what he at first mistook for an outburst of enthusiasm on the part of his hearers, but was afterwards induced to believe proceeded from some more serious cause, he looked around him upon great waves of panic that lashed the building from side to side—at first converting all obstacles into a causeway for their terror, but at length flowing into currents that beat strongest where the drifts of wrecked and storm-tossed furniture formed artificial banks. Having the organ of comparison well developed among the other faculties, the brain of the statesman took in the situation at once; for, observing with what success doors and windows were swept from their moorings at the heads of the retreating columns, he saw the twenty or more ghostly embodiments that occupied his rear in imagination only, and, hesitating for one instant, he joined the assault on the “imminent breach,” ballasting his flight with cries that bore a marvellous resemblance to the changes of which the last word of the “befogoin” is susceptible. Reaching a neighboring window at the end of two vigorous jumps, he passed out into the night—a distance of “eighteen foot in the clur,” as he afterwards testified—and regaining his feet and the top of his bent simultaneously, “the startled ear of outer darkness” heard something like the report “murder,” at brief intervals of time accommodated to long intervals of space, for about the period employed by an Erie express train in exhausting a winter horizon.]
CHAPTER XI.
EFFECTS PRODUCED. A PERIOD OF ALARM.
Excitement throughout the State—Scenes at the Capitol—Metropolitan Arrests resisted—Secret Police—Government Officials Notified of the Extent of the Disaster—A Quorum of the Legislative or Judicial Bodies not Attainable—No Departures from the City—The K. K. K. Cabal Receiving that Attention from Caucusing Legislators which its Importance Demanded—What the State Judiciary Demanded—A Mob at the State-House—At Sunset the Situation Unchanged—A Sortie from the Capitol—Mobs along the Route—Seeking Refuge from the Excited Populace—Out of Danger—The New Situation—Governor Brownlow Escaping from the Temporary Fortress by an Alley-way—An Ugly Specimen of the Genus Ku-Klux—The Governor Recovers from the Attitude of a Suppliant—An Amusing Episode—“But how many suns, O Man, would look upon the Deed Unavenged?”—A Canard which Grew out of this Affair.
On the day following the grand coup de main of the Klan to which we have directed attention in the previous chapters, and which, in bringing depression to League affairs, sent the former’s mercury to a feverish height, great excitement prevailed throughout the State; and at the business centres, and more especially the capital, something like a popular demonstration greeted the arrival of news from provincial quarters. The wires had been buzzing with intelligence of the disaster since early dawn, and yet the news and telegraph offices found it impossible to throw off the steaming bulletins giving additional particulars, or summing up the history of the exploit in localities already heard from, with sufficient speed to meet the cravings of the multitude. The streets of the capital were filled with passengers, who, with white faces and lips compressed, seemed as firmly intent on reaching some point of general rendezvous as it was indubitably certain that they had nothing definite in view, but were tossed to and fro by a burning thirst for news that must and would not be satisfied. Occasionally, as the crowd kept this frantic pace, individuals would suffer themselves buttonholed, and made the subjects of lengthy confidences, but rarely, as one man’s property in the commodity of the hour was something which all might share at the bulletin-board; and so all day long the human tides ebbed and flowed along the news-channels, never manifesting impatience, but ever quickening their speed to keep pace with the now fairly excited messengers. Merchants and shop-keepers stood in their doors wearing prurient countenances, and anon, sending would-be purchasers away with curt replies; for since the sun rose on that eventful morn, had not traffic grown out of fashion? Women and children kept within doors without commands to that effect, for there was something in the very air of the crowds without that not only did not invite confidence, but positively frowned upon all advances thereto. The Metropolitan guards, who had special instructions, and whose force had been doubled since morning, moved along their beats wearing grave countenances, and occasionally scanning the faces of the crowd with furtive stare, as if in search of some secret which they half suspected lay hidden there. Once they ventured upon an arrest, being guided by their suspicions only, as was evident from their embarrassed movements; but though they employed a strong guard, and sought out the most thinly peopled avenues in making away with their prisoner, they had not proceeded above two blocks before they were set upon by the crowd, and compelled not only to relinquish their charge, but to seek safety in flight. It was even whispered that there was a secret police force abroad, deriving its authority from the opposition element in politics; but this was industriously denied in quarters where the facts should have been known, and after it became a rumor, every effort was made to quell suspicion. But, however that may have been, after the unsuccessful feint to which we have called attention, no further effort was made to interfere with the calm-faced crowds which, looking neither to the right nor left, persevered in that unvarying procession which led them to and from the news centres. A K. K. K. placard, which had been posted at a popular street corner during the previous night, and which, for contrasted reasons, had been given a wide berth by the rival factions, became, as the evening wore along, the one subject which seemed to possess sufficient interest to attract the regards of passers-by, and it is probable that its importance (like some sentient wonders that we wot of) was derived from the circumstance of its connection with weightier subjects.
It was probably past the hour of noon before the extent of the Ku-Klux raid was certainly known to the State authorities, and to say that the intelligence cast a palpable gloom over the various departments of government, would hardly particularize the situation with that definiteness which the curiosity of the reader may demand. After the noon recess it was found impossible to assemble a quorum of either the legislative or judicial functionaries, and when visitors sought individuals belonging to these branches, with a view to conference on private topics, they were, oftener than not, sent away with the intelligence that they had left the city. But this was scarcely true in any case, for not only was there no hegira of State officers from the scene of their labors on this day, but out-bound trains flew along the landscapes with hardly any reasonable ballast in the way of passengers. The secret of the whole business, as revealed soon after, showed that some very extensive caucusing was being done, and that the K. K. K. cabal, for the first time in its history, was receiving that attention from the government authorities which its importance demanded. It is not known with certainty what was resolved upon at these meetings, but it may be guessed, with tolerable assurance, that those bold measures soon afterwards instituted in the House (though enterprised too late for any practical use) received their inspiration from this excited period. And it was soon after published as an item of news, that the judiciary demanded of their law-making colleagues some immediate legislation that would enable them to grapple with the new problem in jurisprudence which the movement presented.