But besides the Advantages arising from Prudence to ourselves, it makes us pleasing and useful to others. Men naturally love to converse with the Discreet; from them they learn the Art of shunning those Rocks which so many others have split on; from them they discover a safer Path to tread in; and from them they often labour to model their own Actions. Farther, the Prudent are not only pleasing, but valuable to Society. A prudent Man is esteemed by all who have any Dealing with him. Mankind have naturally an Attachment to their Property; therefore are they with great Reason inclined to trust it in the Hands of the Discreet, rather than the Indiscreet. Hence appears the Necessity of teaching Children the Nature and Advantages of Prudence; but as it is one of the graver Virtues, it seldom appears in young People, unless it be those who are so happy as to have prudent Parents, that labour to implant an early Habit of it in them.

There is a natural Consciousness in the Mind of Man of his own Significance; and where he takes Prudence for his Guide, some real Advantage may always be made of it. No Man is so high as not to require the Aid of those beneath him; no one so low but he may be useful to his Betters. Parents therefore instead of inculcating on their Children a false Pride, or raising in them a vain-glorious Flame, should give them a due Sense of others Significance and their own; this, accompanied with Prudence, will shew them the true light they stand in; shew them their just Distance from those above them, their Nearness to those beneath them. From this View will arise not only that genuine Self-knowledge so essentially necessary for their Conduct in Life, but that becoming Pride, which at the same time that it proves to them the Obligation of acting in some certain Sphere, animates them with Resolution to behave in it as they ought.

Prudence is a Check to Extravagance, Vice, and Folly; nay, it is often the Guide of virtuous Actions; for even Benevolence, Generosity, and Charity, Actions greatly noble in themselves, unless well directed, timed, and placed, will often be the Cause of others Ruin and our own. Prudence therefore, of all Virtues, may justly be call’d the Balance that keeps us from Extremes.

I have elsewhere observed how dangerous it is for Parents to rate their Children too high; nor is it less so to sink them too low: there is a certain Spirit to be maintained, without which our Children will degenerate into Meanness; there is a Degree of Dignity they must support, without which they will become not merely useless, but burthensome: Parents therefore must carefully attend to this, lest in avoiding one Evil they fall into another: And no Means so likely to gain the Medium, as Self-knowledge under the Direction of Prudence. By this they are check’d in the Pride of towering too high; and by this they are lifted from that Meanness which Sloth, Ignorance, or false Humility is apt to plunge them into.

Here I might expatiate on the Cruelty of some Parents, who use every body well but their own Children; who act not only the Sovereign, but the Brute, the Tyrant, and the Monster over those whom Nature calls on them to cherish, comfort, and love: and often, under the Pretext of making their Children humble, harrass them into Misery, and fix a Hatred to themselves. However, I will not pursue a Reflection so shocking to Nature; but rather hope that once to know it will be a sufficient Motive for it’s Banishment.

But of all the Advantages attending Prudence, there is none equal to the Bar it puts against the Rashness of young People in plunging themselves into the Mistake of an inconsiderate Marriage: and indeed were it the sure Means of preventing this Evil alone, it would both demand and deserve all the Attention of Parents to lead their Children into the Knowledge and Practice of it. How few are those whose Passions never rise above the Mark of Reason; how few whose Duty never nods; what Grief does such a mistaken Step bring on the Parents; what Care, what Sorrow, what Misery on the Children! Here, in the strongest Light, we may view the necessity of Prudence. Suppose a Father (one of some Figure and Circumstances) educates his Son suitable to his Condition in Life; and then engages him in Business, either as a Clerk, an Apprentice, or whatever Station occurs: at this Age, and in this Situation, he is exposed to a thousand Dangers; but particularly to that of a rash and an unequal Marriage. The young Fellow, if unguarded by Prudence, is open to all the Arts, the Smiles, the Hypocrisy of some one at least of the opposite Sex, who thinks it her Business to make her Fortune; while he, a Stranger to his own Heart, and ignorant of the Consequences of such a Step, involves himself in Sorrow, if not in Destruction. The transient pleasing Dream once past, he looks around him with Amazement! but ’tis now too late! the Chain is link’d, the Fetters are tied, and nothing but Death can break them! After various Contrivances to conceal the rash Deed, at length it reaches the Parents Ears. What a Scene of Affliction is here! Not the lively Picture of a Poet’s Fancy; not the fabled Representation of romantic Distress; but real Life overwhelmed with boundless Grief. A generous Father who has spared no Cost to promote his Son’s Felicity; a tender Mother, who with endless Anxiety has sought the fairest Prospect for her favourite Boy; view them alternately struggling with Love, and Rage, and Fear, and Resentment! What must they feel to see their Expectations frustrated, their utmost Wishes vanished, their darling Child undone! We say, it is dangerous to rouze a sleeping Lion; nor is it less so, to kindle the Resentment of Parents: for to be greatly exasperated is to fall into a Frenzy, which we cannot stop at Will. Thus it often happens with those whose Children precipitate themselves into Misery; their Rage becomes a continual Resentment, or an unconquerable Hatred. And alas! how dreadful are the Effects! What more common than for a Child to be banished from his Parents for a Step like this. I know not what Effect a Description may have on those who hear or read it, but, for my own Part, I think a Child, who thro’ such gross Folly and Disobedience has shut himself out from the Doors, the Hearts, the Affection of his Parents, is in the most calamitous Situation upon Earth.

But let us change the Scene. Let us suppose the Parents Grief subsided, or that Love and Pity have got the better of Resentment. How fares it with the disproportioned Couple? Does a Reconciliation with the Parents secure Happiness to them? Alas, no; they know but little of Life who conclude so. There is always Danger in Disparity, especially where Vanity or Ambition predominates. The Woman who is suddenly lifted up from a very low Condition, commonly makes but an aukward Figure; and what is worse, she is apt, in affecting to be like her Betters, to misuse the Dominion she is invested with; and, instead of demeaning herself like a good Wife, she becomes a Vixen, a Shrew or a Tyrant. Yet granting that none of these Evils happen, granting that a Woman has really Merit, and that the labours to improve her natural Talents, in order to suit them to her new Condition, there are still other Evils to fear. Reflection on past Folly naturally draws Resentment on the Object of it: and tho’ when two Parties once become Man and Wife, they are obliged to maintain Fidelity, Tenderness and Love to one another; yet Experience unhappily shews us that this Obligation is often violated. He who is extravagantly fond without Regard to Merit, will often be unreasonable without Provocation. Thus, when a Man, in his cooler Thoughts, compares what he is, with what he might have been; reflects on what he has lost in grasping imaginary Happiness, or views himself, thro’ a Disparity of Years, chained to faded Beauty, to declining Life, while himself is in his Bloom; not all the natural or acquired Merit of his Wife, not all the Tenderness that can flow from the sincerest Love will be able to balance his Disappointment: he frets, and swears, and raves, he breaks out into Extravagancies, which frequently end in the Destruction of them both; Destruction to their Peace, and Destruction to their Fortune.

Nor is this Portrait of private Woe the only one that can be represented. A thousand others might be produced, all essentially the same, all fraught with Misery, and only different in circumstances or Degree. To see the Heir of a great Estate forsake his Father’s Mansion, and marry the Dairy-maid; to see a young Lady trained up in all the Pomp and Pride of Wealth, throw herself into the Arms of a Man whose only Merit perhaps is a deceitful Tongue, or a borrowed lac’d Coat; or to see another steal to the Fleet and marry her Father’s Footman; are things so preposterous in their Nature, that one cannot reflect on them without shuddering.

Certain it is, that great Merit sometimes lies cover’d in Obscurity; and it is but justice to render it conspicuous, by raising the Possessors of it to an exalted Station. And farther, a young Man, who has with great Pains and Expence qualified himself to act in a genteel Profession, tho’ he should not have a Shilling in the World, has a Title to expect a Fortune with a Wife; nor does he know his own Significance if he neglects it: for allowing that the Woman he marries has Personal Merit, if they are balanced by the same good Qualities on his Side, the Prospect he has from his Trade or Profession is often more than an Equivalent for the Advantages he reaps by her Fortune. Nor is it these things I mean to inveigh against; what I condemn is in general far otherwise: we see a wild Flame seize our Youth, Inclination cherishes it, and they fall a Sacrifice to their Imprudence. How happy then are they whom Prudence guides; how consoling the Reflection, that by steering with this Pilot they escape the common Wreck.