DOMESTIC ETIQUETTE—BASHFULNESS.
§ 87. A man does not speak to his wife's mother or grandmother; he and she are ashamed to speak to each other. But should his wife be absent he sometimes asks her mother for information, if there be no one present through whom he can inquire.
In former days it was always the rule for a man not to speak to his wife's parents or grandparents. He was obliged to converse with them through his wife or child, by addressing the latter and requesting him or her to ask the grandparent for the desired information. Then the grandparent used to tell the man's wife or child to say so and so to the man. In like manner a woman cannot speak directly to her husband's father under ordinary circumstances. They must resort to the medium of a third party, the woman's husband or child. But if the husband and child be absent, the woman or her father-in-law is obliged to make the necessary inquiry.
A woman never passes in front of her daughter's husband if she can avoid it. The son-in-law tries to avoid entering a place where there is no one but his mother-in-law. When at the Ponka mission, in Dakota, the writer noticed the Ponka chief, Standing Buffalo, one day when he entered the school-room. When he saw that his mother-in-law was seated there, he turned around very quickly, threw his blanket over his head, and went into another part of the house.
Another custom prevails, which Dougherty described thus: "If a person enters a dwelling in which his son-in-law is seated, the latter turns his back, and avails himself of the first opportunity to leave the premises. If a person visits his wife during her residence at the lodge of her father, the latter averts himself, and conceals his head with his robe, and his hospitality is extended circuitously by means of his daughter, by whom the pipe is transferred to her husband to smoke." He also said that if the mother-in-law wished to present her son-in-law with food, it was invariably handed to the daughter for him; and if the daughter should be absent, the mother-in-law placed the food on the ground, and retired from the lodge that he might take it up and eat it." (Long's Expedition to the Rocky Mountains, Vol. I, pp. 253, 254.) The Dakotas have this custom and call it "wiśtenkiyapi."
PREGNANCY.
§ 88. The woman, when she perceives that the catamenia does not recur at the expected period, begins to reckon her pregnancy from the last time that she "dwelt alone." As the months pass, she says, "Min´ gána b¢in´," I am that number of months (with child). If she cannot tell the exact number of months, she asks her husband or some old man to count for her. At other times, it is the husband who asks the old man. They calculate from the last time that the woman "dwelt alone."
Dougherty says that he did not hear of any case of "longing, or of nausea of the stomach, during pregnancy."
§ 89. Couvade, Fœticide, and Infanticide.—Couvade is not practiced among the ₵egiha. Fœticide is uncommon. About twenty-two years ago, Standing Hawk's wife became enceinte. He said to her, "It is bad for you to have a child. Kill it." She asked her mother for medicine. The mother made it, and gave it to her. The child was still-born. The daughter of Wackan-man¢in used to be very dissolute, and whenever she was pregnant she killed the child before birth. These are exceptional cases; for they are very fond of their children, and are anxious to have them. Infanticide is not known among them.
§ 90. Accouchement.—The husband and his children go to another lodge, as no man must witness the birth. Only two or three old women attend to the patient. In some cases, if the patient be strong, she "takes" the child herself, but requires assistance subsequently. Should the woman continue in pain for two or three days without delivery, a doctor is sent for, and he comes with a medicine that is very bitter. He departs as soon as he has caused the patient to drink the medicine. There are about two or three Omahas who know this medicine, which is called Niacinga makan, Human-being medicine. The writer saw one of these roots at the Kaw Agency, Indian Territory. It is used by the Kansas. The doctor never comes of his own accord. After having given this medicine two or three times without success, he says, "I have failed, send for some one else." Then another doctor comes, and tries his medicine. Very few Omaha girls die in child-bed.