§ 82. Marriage by elopement.—Sometimes a man elopes with a woman. Her kindred have no cause for anger if the man takes the woman as his wife. Should a man get angry because his single daughter, sister, or niece had eloped, the other Omahas would talk about him, saying, "That man is angry on account of the elopement of his daughter!" They would ridicule him for his behavior. La Flèche knew of but one case, and that a recent one, in which a man showed anger on such an occasion. But if the woman had been taken from her husband by another man her kindred had a right to be angry. Whether the woman belongs to the same tribe or to another the man can elope with her if she consents. The Omahas cannot understand how marriage by capture could take place, as the woman would be sure to alarm her people by her cries.
§ 83. Customs subsequent to marriage.—Sometimes the kindred of the husband are assembled by his father, who addresses them, saying, "My son's wife misses her old home. Collect gifts, and let her take them to her kindred." Then the husband's kindred present to the wife horses, food, etc., and the husband's mother tells her daughter-in-law to take the gifts to her parents. When the husband and wife reach the lodge of the wife's parents the father calls his daughter's kindred to a feast and distributes the presents among them. By and by, perhaps a year later, the wife's kindred may assemble and tell the husband to take presents and food to his kindred, especially if the latter be poor. This custom is now obsolescent.
§ 84. Polygamy.—The maximum number of wives that one man can have is three, e. g., the first wife, her aunt, and her sister or niece, if all be consanguinities. Sometimes the three are not kindred.[8]
When a man wishes to take a second wife he always consults his first wife, reasoning thus with her: "I wish you to have less work to do, so I think of taking your sister, your aunt, or your brother's daughter for my wife. You can then have her to aid you with your work." Should the first wife refuse the man cannot marry the other woman. Generally no objection is offered, especially if the second woman be one of the kindred of the first wife.
Sometimes the wife will make the proposition to her husband, "I wish you to marry my brother's daughter, as she and I are one flesh." Instead of "brother's daughter," she may say her sister or her aunt.
The first wife is never deposed. She always retains the right to manage household affairs, and she controls the distribution of food, etc., giving to the other wives what she thinks they should receive.
§ 85. If a man has a wife who is active and skillful at dressing hides, etc., and the other wives are lazy or unskillful, he leaves them with their parents or other kindred, and takes the former wife with him when he goes with the tribe on the buffalo hunt. Sometimes he will leave this wife a while to visit one of his other wives. But Dougherty was misinformed when he was told that the skillful wife would be apt to show her jealousy by "knocking the dog over with a club, repulsing her own child, kicking the fire about, pulling the bed, etc." (see p. 232, Vol. I, Long's Expedition to the Rocky Mountains), for when a wife is jealous she scolds or strikes her husband or else she tries to hit the other woman.
Polyandry.—The Omahas say that this has not been practiced among them, nor do the Ponkas know this custom. But the terms of kinship seem to point to an age when it was practiced.
§ 86. Permanence of marriage.—Among the Santee Dakotas, where mother-right prevails(?), a wife's mother can take her from the husband and give her to another man. Among the ₵egiha, if the husband is kind, the mother-in-law never interferes. But when the husband is unkind the wife takes herself back, saying to him, "I have had you for my husband long enough; depart." Sometimes the father or elder brother of the woman says to the husband, "You have made her suffer; you shall not have her for a wife any longer." This they do when he has beaten her several times, or has been cruel in other ways. But sometimes the woman has married the man in spite of the warnings of her kindred, who have said to her, "He is maleficent; do not take him for your husband." When such a woman repents, and wishes to abandon her husband, her male kindred say to her, "Not so; still have him for your husband; remain with him always." Thus do they punish her for not having heeded their previous warnings. When they are satisfied with each other they always stay together; but should either one turn out bad, the other one always wishes to abandon the unworthy consort.
When parents separate, the children are sometimes taken by their mother, and sometimes by her mother or their father's mother. Should the husband be unwilling, the wife cannot take the children with her. Each consort can remarry. Sometimes one consort does not care whether the other one marries again or not; but occasionally the divorced wife or husband gets angry on hearing of the remarriage of the other.