52
Comrade Fost was shot yesterday at nine in the morning for murder. It was a glorious inspiration to put the tassel under his pillow. In the afternoon we buried Pashinsky. I gave my share for a wreath with red ribbons and the inscription "To him who fell for Proletariat—Long live the International," and was present at the funeral. Dutzman made a speech; a very pathetic one.
In the evening the sentinels were doubled. There are lights in every room now. There was a light in every corridor. The ladies—are,—for the moment being, out of immediate danger. The Soviet decided to transport all to Ekaterinburg,—as soon as a steamer will be available.
Today Nachman called on me. He took me to the Square and when we were sitting on a bench, he said, that "It was well done" ("that's all right, sir, perfectly all right"), but if he were in my place he would go away. "It's easy," he continued,—"supposing I give you a good letter of recommendation to my people in Ekaterinburg? The interesting part of all of this,—believe me, has started only. Don't fear me,—this scabby Jew, this very Nachman,—will not betray."
I thought it over and said:
"I would do so, if I only could leave some trace here. A friend may ask for me here, and I would be sore if she could not find me,—if she only cares."
"Oh, she will," he laughed, "she will. Of course, I am not posted in your personal affairs, but—a lady always can find one, if she cares. Ha-ha-ha! Youth is always youth! But you better go without leaving traces…."
I continued:
"Nachman, there is another thing. Here is an old man,—a friend of mine,—he is very sick. His days are numbered, and I feel very sorry for him. If I go away all will be lost for this old chap; he has nobody in this world. Could you use your power and place him in a hospital? I will give you money, of course,—I have some."
Nachman sighed: "This is so out of time! Nowadays love and charity are much more dangerous than murders and thefts."