Then after a pause, he continued;
"Very well, friend, I will take care of your man. Hand me the money."
Then he gave me a letter to his friends in Ekaterinburg (it was ready in his pocket) and we parted.
I am free, happy, independent, with a good standing amongst the present Russians. And if only she could be near me … but there is no perfect happiness on this strangest of planets of ours.
53
(pages missing)
… heavy trucks, and other military paraphernalia. Some of the men on them surely are not Russians, Letts, or Germans, or …
(nine lines scratched out)
… I don't know whether it was Nachman's talk or the truth.
Anyhow I am going away,—again alone,—alone forever. Damn life! I cannot look backwards—I feel sorry for my past; the present—is sufficiently bad not to speak of it; the future—is just as dark—as this night. Not a star, not a single star.