A man and woman of Jewish cast of countenance are seen at a pawnbroker's sale. Woman. "Well, what will you buy for mother's birthday?" Man. "A handsome dress, I think." Woman. "How unpractical you are! She can only live three or four years at most; and even in that short time a dress will be in rags. Let us buy for the dear old soul a pair of silver candlesticks. Then when she dies we shall have them back again."
Under the heading of "Cheap Illumination," we are presented with a picture of an Esquimau with a lighted wick held in his mouth, and the following explanation: "The Esquimaux, as is well known, live on the fat of the reindeer, the seal, and the whale. This suggested to the arctic traveler, Warnie, the idea of drawing a wick through the body of one of the natives, and in this way obtaining a brilliant train-oil lamp for the long winter nights."
A Bold Comparison. (Berlin, 1873.)
Pastor's Wife. "But half the cracknels are scorched to-day."
Cracknel Man. "So they are. But, you see, I have the same luck as the pastor: all his sermons do not turn out equally good."
Two noble ladies chatting over their tea: "Only think, my dear, we are obliged to discharge our man." "Why?" "Oh, he begins to be too familiar. What do you think? I saw him cleaning the boots, and I discovered, to my horror, that he had my husband's boots, my son's, and his own, all mixed together!"
A lady hurrying home from an approaching shower, dragging her little boy with her. Boy. "But, mother, why should we be so afraid of the thunder storm? Those hay-makers yonder don't care." Mother. "Child, they are poor people, who don't attract the lightning as we do, who always have gold and ready cash about us."
A scene in a police court, the magistrate questioning a witness: "You are a carpenter, are you not?" "I am." "You were at work in the vicinity of the place where the scuffle occurred?" "I was." "How far from the two combatants were you standing?" "Thirty-six feet and a half, Rhenish measure." "How can you speak so exactly?" "Because I measured it. I thought that most likely some fool would be asking about that at the trial."