Sent. Madam the humblest of your servants is
Exalted to a happinesse, if you smile
Vpon my visit.
Ha. I must begge your charitie
Vpon my rudenesse Madam, I shall give
That day up lost to any happinesse,
When I forget to tender you my service.
Cel. You practise Courtship gentlemen. Sent. But cannot
Find where with more desert to exercise it,
What Ladie's this I pray? Cel. A kinswoman
Of mine sir William. Sent. I am more her servant.
Cel. You came from Court, now I presume. Ha. Tis Madam
The sphere I move in, and my destinie
Was kinde to place me there, where J enjoy
All blessings that a mortall can possesse,
That lives not in your presence, and J should
Fixe my ambition, when you would vouchsafe
Me so much honour, to accept from me
An humble entertainment there. Cel. But by
What name shall I be knowne, in what degree
Shall J be of kinred to you. Hair. How meane you Madam?
Cel. Perhaps you'le call me sister, I shall take it
A speciall preferment, or it may be
J may passe under title of your Mistresse,
If I seeme rich, and faire enough, to engage
Your confidence to owne me. Ha. J would hope.
Cel. But tis not come to that yet, you will sir
Excuse my mirth.
Ha. Sweet Madam. Cel. Shall J take
Boldnesse to aske what place you hold in Court?
Tis an uncivill curiositie,
But you'le have mercie to a womans question.
Ha. My present condition Madam, carries
Honour and profit, though not to be nam'd
With that employment J expect i'th state
Which shall discharge the first maturitie
Vpon your knowledge, untill then I begge
You allow a modest silence. Cel. I am charmd sir,
And if you scape embassador, you cannot
Reach a preferment, wherein I'me against you,
But where's sir William Sentlove?
Ha. Give him leave
To follow his nose Madam, while he hunts
In view, hee'le soone be at a fault. Cel. You know him.
Ha. Know Sentlove? not a page but can decipher him,
The waitingwomen know him to a scruple,
Hee's cal'd the Blistermaker of the towne.
Cel. Whats that?
Is. The laundry Ladies can resolve you,
And you may guesse, an arrant Epicure
As this day lives, borne to a prettie wit,
A Knight but no gentleman; J must
Be plaine to you, your Ladiship may have
Vse of this knowledge, but conceale the author.
Sen. J kisse your fairest hand. Mar. You make a difference,
Pray reconcile e'm to an equall whitenesse.
Sent. You wound my meaning Lady.
Cel. Nay sir William
Has the art of complement. Sent. Madam, you honor me
'Bove my desert of language. Cel. Will you please
To enrich me with your knowledge of that gentleman.
Sent. Doe you not know him Madam. Cel. What is he?
Sen. A Camphire ball, you shall know more hereafter
He shall tell you himselfe, and save my character,
Till then, you see hee's proud.
Cel. One thing gentlemen
I observe in your behaviour, which is rare
In two that court one mistresse, you preserve
A noble friendship, theres no gum within
Your hearts, you cannot fret, or shew an envy
Of one anothers hope, some would not governe
Their passions with that temper. Sent. The whole world
Shanot divorce our friendship. Mr Hairecut
Would I had lives to serve him, he is lost
To goodnesse does not honour him. Ha. My knight!
Cel. This is right playing at Court Shuttlecocke.
Enter Gentlew.
Gen. Madam, there is a gentleman desires
To speake w'ee, one sir Thomas Bornwell. Cel. Bornewell?
Gen. He sayes he is a stranger to your Ladiship.
Sen. I know him. Haire. Your neighbour Madam.
Sen. Husband to the Lady, that so revells in the strand.
Ha. He has good parts they say, but cannot helpe
His Ladies bias. Cel. They have both much fame
Ith towne for severall merits, pray admit him.
Ha. What comes he for? Enter sir Thomas.
Bo. Your pardon noble Lady, that I have
Presum'd a stranger to your knowledge. Cel. Sir,
Your worth was here before you, and your person
Cannot be here ingratefull. Bor. Tis the bounty
Of your sweet disposition Madam, make me
Your servant lady by her faire example,
To favour me—I never knew one turne
Her cheeke to a gentleman that came to kisse her
But sha'd a stinking breath, your servant gentlemen,
Will Sentlove how ist? Cel. I am sorry Coze
To accuse you, we in nothing more betray
Our selves to censure of ridiculous pride,
Then answering a faire salute too rudely,
Oh it shewes ill upon a gentlewoman
Not to returne the modest lip, if she
Would have the world beleeve, her breath is not
Offensive. Bor. Madam, I have businesse
With you. Sent. His lookes are pleasant. Cel. With me sir?
Bor. I heare you have an ex'lent wit Madam,
I see your faire. Cel. The first is but report,
And doe not trust your eyesight for the last,
Cause I presume y'are mortall and may erre.
Ha. He is very gamesome. Bor. Y'ave an ex'lent voyce;
They say you catcht it from a dying Swan,
Which joyn'd to the sweete harmony of your lute,
You ravish all mankind. Cel. Ravish mankind?
Bo. With their consent. Cel. It were the stranger rape,
But there's the lesse inditement lies against it,
And there is hope, your little honesties
Cannot be much the worse, for men doe rather
Beleeve they had a maiden head, then put
Themselves to'th racke of memory, how long
Tis since they left the burden of their innocence.
Bo. Why you are bitter Madam. Cel. So is physicke,
I doe not know your constitution.
Bo. You shall if please you Madam. Cel. Y'are too hasty,
I must examine what certificate
You have, first to preferre you. Bo. Fine! certificate?
Cel. Vnder your Ladies hand, and seale. Bor. Go to,
I see you are a wag. Cel. But take heede, how
You trust too't. Bor. I can love you in my wedlocke,
As well as that young gallant, oth first haire,
Or the knight Bachelor, and can returne
As amorous delight to thy soft bosome.
Cel. Your person and your language are both strangers.
Bo. But may be more familiar, I have those
That dare make affidavit for my body.
Cel. D'ee meane your Surgeon? Bor. My Surgeon Madam?
I know not how you value my abilities,
But I dare undertake, as much, to expresse
My service to your Ladiship, and with
As fierce ambition, fly to your commands,
As the most valiant of these, 'lay siege to you.
Cel. You dare not sir. Bor. How Madam? Cel. I will justifi't.
You dare not marry me, and I imagine
Some here should I consent, would fetch a priest
Out of the fire. Bor. I have a wife indeede.
Cel. And there's a statute not repeald I take it.
Bor. Yar'e in the right I must confesse y'ave hit,
And bled me in a master veine. Cel. You thinke
I tooke you on the advantage, use your best
Skill at defence, Ile come up to your valour
And shew another worke you dare not doe,
You dare not sir be vertuous. Bor. I dare,
By this faire hand I dare, and aske a pardon
If my rude words offend thy innocence,
Which in a forme so beautifull, would shine
To force a blush in them suspected it,
And from the rest draw wonder. Ha. I like not
Their secret parly, shall I interrupt em?
Is. By no meanes sir. Sent. Sir Thomas was not wont
To shew so much a Courtier. Mar. He cannot
Be prejudiciall to you, suspect not
Your owne deserts so much, hee's married.
Bo. I have other businesse Madam, you keepe musicke,
I came to try how you can dance.
Cel. You did? Ile trie his humour out of breath,
Although boast no cunning sir in revells,
If you desire to shew your art that way,
I can waite on you. Bor. You much honour me,
Nay all must joyne to make a harmony.
They dance.
Bor. I have nothing now, Madam, but to beseech
After a pardon for my boldnesse, you
Would give occasion to pay my gratitude,
I have a house will be much honourd
If you vouchsafe your presence, and a wife
Desires to present her selfe your servant,
I Came with the ambition to invite you,
Deny me not, your person you shall trust
On faire securitie. Cel. Sir, although I use not
This freedome with a stranger, you shall have
No cause to hold me obstinate. Bor. You grace me
Sir William Sentlove— Ha. I must take my leave,
You will excuse me Madam, Court attendances——
Cel. By any meanes. Bor. Ladies you will vouchsafe
Your company. Is. M. We waite upon you sir. Exeunt.
[The third Act.]
Enter Lord unready. Hairecut preparing his Periwigge, Table, and Lookingglasse.
Lor. What houre ist? Ha. Bout three'a clocke my Lord.
Bor. Tis time to rise. Ha. Your Lordship went but late
To bed last night. Lor. Twas early in the morning. Enter Secre.
Sec. Expect a while, my Lord is busie?
Lor. Whats the matter? Sec. Here is a Lady
Desires accesse to you upon some affaires
She saies may specially concerne your Lordship.
Lor. A Lady? What her name? Sec. Madam Decoy.
Lor. Decoy? prethee admit her. Enter Decoy.
Have you businesse Madam
With me? Decoy. And such I hope as will not be
Offensive to your Lordship. Lor. I pray speake it.
De. I would desire your Lordships eare more private.
Lor. Waite i'th next chaber till I call, now Madam. Exeunt.
De. Although I am a stranger to your Lordship
I wo'd not lose a faire occasion offer'd,
To shew how much I honour, and would serve you.
Lor. Please you to give me the particular
That I may know the extent of my engagement,
I am ignorant by what desert you should
Be encouragd to have care of me. De. My Lord,
I will take boldnesse to be plaine, beside
Your other excellent parts, you have much fame
For your sweet inclination to our sexe.
Lor. How dee meane Madam? Dec. I'that way your Lordship
Hath honorably practisd upon some
Not to be nam'd, your noble constancie
To a mistresse hath deserv'd our generall vote,
And I a part of woman kind have thought
How to expresse my duty. Lor. In what Madam?
Dec. Be not so strange my Lord, I know the beauty
And pleasures of your eyes, that hansome creature
With whose faire life all your delight tooke leave,
And to whose memory you have paid too much
Sad tribute. Lor. Whats all this? Dec. This, if your Lordship
Accept my service, in pure zeale to cure
Your melancholy, I could point where you might
Repaire your losse. Lor. Your Ladiship I conceive
Doth trafficke in flesh marchandize. De. To men
Of honour like your selfe, I am well knowne
To some in court and come not with ambition
Now to supplant your officer. Lor. What is
The Lady of pleasure you preferre. De. A Lady
Of birth and fortune, one upon whose vertue
I may presume, the Lady Aretina.
Lor. Wife to sir Thomas Bornwell? Dec. The same sir.
Lor. Have you prepard her?
De. Not for your Lordship, till I have found your pulse,
I am acquainted with her disposition
She has a very appliable nature.
Lor. And Madam when expect you to be whipt
For doing these fine favors. De. How my Lord?
Your Lordship does but jeast I hope, you make
A difference betweene a Lady that
Does honorable offices, and one
They call a bawd, your Lordship was not wont
To have such course opinion of our practice.
Lor. The Lady Aretina is my kinswoman.
De. What if she be my Lord? the nearer bloud
The dearer sympathie. Lor. Ile have thee carted.
De. Your Lordship wonot so much staine your honour
And education, to use a woman
Of my qualitie.——Lord.——Tis possible you may
Be sent off with an honorable convoy
Of Halberdeers. De. Oh my good Lord!
Lor. Your Ladiship shall be no protection
If thou but staist three minutes. De. I am gone,
When next you finde rebellion in your bloud,
May all within ten mile o'th court turne honest. Exit.
Lor. I doe not finde that pronenesse since the faire
Bella Maria died, my bloud is cold,
Nor is there beautie enough surviving
To highten me to wantonnesse, who waites?
And what said my Lady? Enter Hairecut.
Ha. The silent language of her face my Lord
Was not so pleasant, as it shewd upon
Her entrance. Lor. Would any man that meetes
This Lady take her for a bawde. Ha. She does
The trade an honor, credit to the profession,
We may in time see baldnesse, quarter noses,
And rotten legges to take the wall of footclothes.
Lor. I ha thought better, call the Lady backe,
I wonot lose this opportunitie,
Bid her not feare, the favour is not common,
And ile reward it. I doe wonder much
Will Sentlove was not here to day.
Ha. I heard him say this morning, he would waite
Vpon your Lordship.
She is returnd sir. Enter Secre. and Decoy.
Sec. Madam be confident my Lords not angry.
Bor. You returne welcome Madam, you are better
Read in your art I hope then to be frighted
With any shape of anger, when you bring
Such newes to gentlemen, Madam you shall
Soone understand how I accept the office.
De. You are the first Lord, since I studied carriage,
That shew'd such infidelity and fury
Vpon so kind a message, every gentleman
Will shew some breeding, but if one right honourable
Should not have noble bloud. Lor. You shall returne
My complement in a letter to my Lady
Aretina, favour me with a little patience,
Shew her that chamber. De. Ile attend your Lordship. Ex.
Lor. Write, Madam where your honour is in danger,
My love must not be silent. Enter Sentlove and Kickshaw.
Sentlove and Kickshaw! Kic. Your Lordship's busie.
Lor. Writing a letter, nay it shanot barre
Any discourse. Sec.——Silent.
Lo. Though I be no Physitian, I may prevent a feaver in your bloud,
And where have you spent the mornings conversation?
Sent. Where you would have given the best Barbary
In your stable to have met on honorable termes.
Lor. What new beautie? You acquaint your selves
With none but wonders. Sent. Tis too low a miracle.
Lor. Twill require a strong faith. Secr. Your bloud.
Lor. If you be innocent preserve your fame least this Decoy
Madam betray it to your repentance.
By what name is she knowne?
Sent. Aske Alexander, he knowes her? Alex. Whom?
Sent. The Lady Celestina.
Lor. He has a vast knowledge of Ladies, las poore Alexander!
When dost thou meane thy body shall lie fallow?
Al. When there is mercy in a petticote,
I must turne pilgrime for some breath. Lor. I thinke
Twere cooler travell if you examine it
Vpon the hoofe through Spaine.
Sent. Through Ethiopia.
Lor. Nay lesse laborious to serve a prentiship
In Peru, and dig gold out of the mine,
Though all the yeare were dogdayes. Sec. To repentance.
Lor. In briefe, this Lady, could you fall from vertue,
Within my knowledge will not blush to be a Bawde.
Sent. But hang't tis honorable journey worke,
Thou art famous by't, and thy name's up. Alex. So sir,
let me aske you a question my deare knight,
Which is lesse servile to bring up the Pheasant,
And waite, or sit at table uncontrould
And carve to my owne appetite? Sent. No more,
Th'art witty, as I am—Sec. A bawd. Sent. How's that?
Al. Oh you are famous by't and your names up sir.
Lor. Be wise, and reward my caution, with
Timely care of your selfe, so I shall not repent
To be knowne your lovings kinsman and servant.
Gentlemen, the Lady Celestina.
Is she so rare a thing? Alex. If you'le have my
Opinion my Lord, I never saw
So sweete, so faire, so rich a peece of nature.
Lor. Ile shew thee a fairer presently, to shame
Thy eyes and judgement, looke o'that.——So Ile subscribe
Seale it, ile excuse your pen for the direction.
Al. Bella Marias picture; she was hansome.
Sent. But not to be compar'd.
Lor. Your patience gentlemen ile returne instantly. Exit.
Al. Whither is my Lord gone?
Sec. To a Lady i'th next Chamber. Sen. What is she?
Sec. You shall pardon me, I am his Secretary.
Sen. I was wont to be of his counsell, a new officer
And I not know't? I am resolvd to batter
All other with the praise of Celestina
I must retaine him. Enter Lord.
Lor. Has not that object
Convinc't your erring judgements.
Al. What this picture?
Lor. Were but your thoughts as capable as mine
Of her Idea, you would with no thought
That were not active in her praise above
All worth and memory of her sexe. Sent. She was faire
I must confess, but had your Lordship look'd
With eyes more narrow and some lesse affection
Vpon her face. Alex. I doe not love the copies
Of any dead, they make me dreame of goblins,
Give me a living mistresse, with but halfe
The beauty of Celestina, come my Lord,
Tis pitty that a Lord of so much flesh
Should waste upon a ghost, when they are living
Can give you a more honourable consumption.
Sen. Why doe you meane my Lord to live an Infidell?
Doe, and see what will come ont, observe still
And dote upon your vigills, build a chamber
Within a rocke, a tombe, among the wormes,
Not farre off, where you may in proofe apocryphall
Court em not devoure the pretty pile.
Of flesh your mistresse carried to the grave,
There are no women in the world, all eyes
And tongue and lippes are buried in her coffin.
Lor. Why doe you thinke your selves competent Judges,
Of beauty gentlemen? Both. What should hinder us?
Al. I have seene and tried as many as another
With a mortall backe. Lord. Your eyes are bribd,
And your hearts chain'd to some desires, you cannot
Enjoy the freedome of a sence. Alex. Your Lordship
Has a cleare eyesight, and can judge and penetrate.
Lor. I can, and give a perfect censure of
Each line and point, distinguish beautie from
A thousand formes, which your corrupted optiks
Would passe for naturall. Sent. I desire no other
Judge should determine us, and if your Lordship
Dare venture but your eyes upon this Lady,
Ile stand their justice, and be confident
You shall give Celestine victorie,
And triumph ors all beauties past and living.
Al. I dare my Lord venture a sute of clothes,
You will be orecome. Lor. You doe not know my fortitude.
Sent. Nor frailtie, you dare not trust you selfe to see he.
Lor. Thinke you so gentlemen, I dare see this creature
To make you know your errors, and the difference
Of her, whose memory is my Saint, not trust
My sences? J dare see, and speake with her,
Which holds the best acquaintance to prepare
My visit to her.
Sent. I will doo't my Lord.
Al. Shee is a Lady free in entertainements.
Lor. I would give this advantage to your cause,
Bid him appeare in all the ornaments
Did ever waite on beautie, all the riches
Pride can put on, and teach her face more charme
Then ever Poet drest up Venus in,
Bid her be all the graces, and the queene
Of love in one, Ile see her Sentlove, and
Bring off my heart arm'd, but single thought
Of one that is dead, without a wound, and when
I have made your follie prisoner, ile laugh at you.
Sent. She shall expect you, trust me for knowledge.
Lor. I'me for the present somewhere else engagd,
Let me heare from you. Sent. So I am glad hee's yet
So neere conversion. Alex. I am for Aretina.
Sent. No mention of my Lord. Alex. Prepare his Lady,
Tis time he were reduc'd to the old sport,
One Lord like him more would undoe the court. Exit.
Enter Aretina with a letter. Decoy.