When this important day is arrived, those Ladies who have agreed to join together in the same party, or (to continue the comparison drawn from the law that has been above employed) who have agreed to go together upon the circuit, repair early in the morning to the appointed place of rendezvous, for instance the apartment of one of them, sufficiently provided with disciplines from their respective kitchens; and after laying the plan of their operations, they sally out, to take a round to the apartments of their different acquaintances.
The prudent and cautious, on such an important day, take great care to secure well the bolts and locks of their doors; or rather, fearing that sleep should overcome them, and knowing how fatal neglect might prove, they take that precaution on the evening before, when going to bed, and as an additional security, they heap all the chairs and tables against the door. Others, who are of a bold and daring spirit, on the contrary affect on that day, to leave the doors of their rooms wide open, and stay in bed, resolved to wait the event, and undauntedly to face the storm. However, as such an affectation of bravery seems to indicate that some present trick, or at least some future retaliation of some kind or other is intended, the Ladies commonly keep clear from a place they judge so ominous; unless there happens to be one among them of an uncommonly courageous turn of mind, who places herself in the van, encourages the whole party; and they all together rush into the room and fall upon the adventurous Hero, who is then made to pay dearly for his temerity. When this does not happen to be the case, and at the same time they find the doors of all those persons whom they had expressly marked out for chastisement, to be proof against either a coup-de-main or a regular siege, as they must not part without some effectual business has been transacted, the cloud commonly breaks upon some unfortunate Simpleton, who has left his door open for no other reason than because he had forgot what day of the month it was; they lay fast hold of him, and seldom leave him before their disciplines are worn out to the stumps. The story is soon circulated in whispers in the neighbourhood; and if any person who has not yet heard of it, observes that the Gentleman appears that day uncommonly grave and sulky, his wonder presently ceases, when he is told that, on the morning, they have given him the Innocents.
The custom we mention, seems to be of pretty ancient date; it is alluded to in that old Book formerly quoted, The Tales of the Queen of Navarre. A Man, an Upholsterer by trade, as it is said in one of these Tales (for Men will sometimes avail themselves of the practice in question when it may serve their turn) a Man was in love with his servant Maid; and as he did not know how to find an opportunity to escape the vigilance of his Wife, and be alone with her, he pretended, in a conversation he brought about on the subject, on the eve of Innocent’s day, to find much fault with the Maid; complained that she was a lazy Wench, and so on; and added, that, in order to teach her better, he proposed, on the next morning, to give her the Innocents. The Wife greatly applauded his resolution: at break at day, he accordingly rose from his bed, took up a discipline of such a monstrous size, that his Wife’s heart aked to think what correction the Maid was about to undergo, and ran up stairs with a disposition of seemingly very great severity: however, I am happy to inform the Reader, that, after he had bounced the door open, and at first frighted the Maid very much, every thing was concluded in an amicable manner.
If from Ladies of a middling station in life, and in the class of Upholsterers, we turn our eyes towards Ladies of rank, and Court Ladies, we shall meet with instances no less instructive and interesting.
We may, in the first place, mention the case of the Poet Clopinel, which has been alluded to in a former Chapter. This Poet, who was also called John of Mehun (a small Town on the river Loire) lived about the year 1300, under the reign of Philip the Fair, King of France, at whose Court he was well received. He wrote several Books, and among others translated into French the Letters of Abelard to Heloisa: but that of his works which gave him most reputation, was his conclusion of the celebrated Roman de la Rose; a Poem of much the same turn with Ovid’s Art of Love, which had been begun by William de Lorris, and met with prodigious success in those times, and was afterwards imitated by Chaucer. However, Clopinel gave great offence to the whole Sex, by four lines he had inserted in that Poem, the meaning of which is as follows:—“All of you are, will be, or were, either in deed, or intention, wh-res; and whoever would well search into your conduct, wh-res would find you all to be.”
Toutes êtes, serez, ou futes
De fait ou de volonté, putes;
Et qui bien vous chercheroit
Toutes putes vous trouveroit.