During my late severe illness, a strong impression rested on my mind, that I was called to participate in the last sufferings of Jesus Christ. The language of my heart was, I am ready, O, Father, to suffer all thy will! In thus yielding my heart, as Abraham when called to sacrifice his beloved Isaac, I realized a new bond of alliance with Christ, and these words, "I will betroth thee unto me forever," was the voice of the Bridegroom to my soul.
When Paul said, "I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus," he did not refer to any external marks in the flesh, but to bearing the states of Jesus Christ. In David are expressed all the states of Christ, with the difference only there is between the type and the original. Job was an eminent instance of being reduced to nothingness, and also of exaltation by the favor of God. Those who pass through the furnace, and suffer with Christ, are prepared to wear the white robe, which adorns the bride, the Lamb's wife. Their souls become the dwelling-place of the Most High.
Are not those beautiful subterranean palaces, which we read of in fable, and which are reached after crossing deep caverns, and so hidden that none can find them, only those to whom the secret is revealed, representative of the interior palace of the soul, where the Lord inhabits. "The king's daughter is all glorious within."
OUR IMPERFECTIONS SHOULD NOT HINDER OUR LABORS FOR OTHERS.
Although I am so weak and unworthy in myself, God uses me for the good of others. The many defects of our temperament, should not hinder our labors in behalf of others. These faults have nothing to do with the grace, which operates effectively on the souls for whom we labor. God reveals himself, through the fathers and mothers in Israel, and thus increases confidence in them; while, at the same time, their weaknesses forbid placing too much dependence on them.
Although our Lord acquaints us with his designs regarding others, and the aid we may render them, yet this should not give us the least desire to aid them, only in the order of his providence. Neither should we be arrested in his work, although the souls we aid repulse the effort. God will make good the results in due time. It implies great death to self, never to put our hand selfishly to the work of the Lord, as it does, also, never to go a step out of the path in which he leads us. When we mingle self, we retard, rather than advance, his work. Nature is so corrupt that it deeply infests spiritual things, and so subtle as to conceal itself under all artifices.
I do not know why I have written you thus. God knows, and that is sufficient.