STATE OF REST IN GOD.
If I do not reply to you, Dear Sir, as soon as you might expect, it is because I hold myself in reserve, until I have a movement to write, and not from any want of regard to you. Relative to the distinct, voluntary acts of resignation, renouncement, it would be difficult, in my present state, to make such acts, because such acts would seem to imply something of self-appropriation still remaining; whereas, I have given to my Sovereign, all that I am; and as far as I know, I have nothing more to give him. My soul is at rest in his will.
It is the same in regard to prayer, or petitions. The soul having a very simple method of prayer, all other prayer seems foreign to it. When it would make a request, and as soon as the soul knows distinctly what it demands, there is something which goes before to accomplish it, without the utterance of words. When the soul utters words, or makes petitions, if the spirit accompanying approves, the prayer is made with ease. If the spirit do not coöperate, the words are uttered with difficulty, or not at all. God takes the place of self in the soul, and there prays for things agreeable to his will. This is a state of the soul, in which it has no desire to originate prayer, but loves to be silent in the presence of God. This is an experience more satisfactory than I am able to express. O, that all the earth knew what it means to keep silence before the Lord!
GREAT HUMILIATIONS.
I have a clear discernment of your state. It seems to me, I see it in some measure as God sees it; that is, in the pure light of truth,—the reasons why you suffer, and the blessed results of these sufferings. I have known that the period of discipline would be long, and very long, because you suffer not only on your own account, but also for the benefit of others. God destines you to accomplish great things for his glory, and exterior humiliations in your case not being suited to his designs, he makes use of concealed humiliations, known only to yourself and God. I will repeat to you the words addressed by our Lord to St. Paul. "My grace is sufficient for thee; my strength is made perfect in weakness."
It will be in companionship with humiliations, that you will be saved from falling into sin and error, and be prepared to be come a vessel fit for the Master's use. You will experience from time to time, a return of these humiliating states, and when you may think they have entirely passed away, they will suddenly revive. But the greater your humiliation, the more God will use you to perform his most excellent works. In this state of entire self-reduction and humiliation, your words will be clothed with power.
"I am come," says our Lord, "to bring fire on the earth." O martyr of Pure Love,—a sacrifice for the good of others, what if the fires be already kindled in your bosom, shrink not! If you were less to God, he might spare you.
Do not hesitate to speak to me of your sufferings, because it appears to you useless. It is not so. If you speak of them in simplicity, your heart will be relieved, and strengthened. I know how to sympathise with you. God bless you.