On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor

by Jerome K. Jerome

Scrape from the fiddle, followed by bar, to bring on FIRST OLD WOMAN.

FIRST O. W. (without moving from her seat, and coming straight to the cue with a suddenness which startles everybody). “‘Fold you to my breast.’”

MAN. WIFE. “’ Mother! ‘—Got the rheumatism again?”

FIRST O. W. “Got it again! It’s never gone yet, drat it—’ My child!’”

Powerful scrape from the fiddle.

FIRST O. M. “Where am I?”

STAGE MAN. “Left, down stage.”

MAN. WIFE. “We embrace, left center. Knock heard.”

STAGE MAN. (crossing center). “That’s me. * Keep it up: it’s a picture. You and Mrs. ———— there, embracing, and the old boy down in the corner, when I open the door.—Rain and wind for this scene, mind.”

* That was the way he treated Lindley Murray. We were inexpressibly grieved and shocked—all of us—but what were we to do?