(Exeunt Clara and Dex. upper l.)
(Enter Allen and Piff. l. Allen is completely dressed in the height of walking costume, and is evidently very uncomfortable. Enter Peters c. Pet. puts photo case on table r. c. Exits down c. Allen has on hat and coat, and Piff. is carrying his umbrella and gloves. Allen should be got up in a slightly exaggerated masher style. He is smoking a cigarette.)
ALLEN. I carn’t breathe, Mr. Puffin.
PIFF. Oh, you will soon get used to that, sir. And would you please to remember my name is Piffin, sir? (Taking his hand.) Why, surely these are nines, sir, I think we could get them down to eight and a half, and if I were you, sir, I would show a little more cuff, sir, it’s always done in good society, sir; besides, it makes the hand look smaller; a little cuff, sir, goes a long way in good society.
ALLEN. Thank you, Mr. Piffin. (Shakes his hand.)
PIFF. Thank you, sir, but I don’t think you ought to shake hands with me, sir. And when you do shake hands with your friends, sir—allow me (takes Allen’s hand) shake high, sir. (Shakes his hand high.) You’ll see it’s always done in good society, sir. Lord Carmichael’s man told me he met you yesterday, sir.
ALLEN. I—I don’t know him, do I?
PIFF. Oh, no, sir, but he knows you, sir, and he was rather complaining of your walk, sir?
ALLEN. Why, what’s it got to do with him?
PIFF. Well, sir, knowing as I’m your coach, sir, he meant it as a friendly hint. You have rather a countrified walk, if you will forgive me for saying so—a more négligé style is adopted by the savoir vivre now, sir, and a more insouciant manner of carrying the umbrella. You walk too much in this way, sir. (Taking up umbrella, gags, and imitates.)