ALLEN. Lord love us, do I walk like that?
PIFF. Just like that, sir. You see yourself, sir, what a very undestingué appearance it presents. The present fashionable style is more like this, sir. (Performing an exaggerated Piccadilly dawdle.) See, sir—body a little forward—knees stiff—and a slight wobble, sir—very slight. (Handing Allen the umbrella.) Perhaps, sir, you would take the umbrella and try it, sir.
(Allen attempts the business.)
PIFF. (Criticising Allen’s practice. Allen crosses to R.) A little more bend, sir—a little wobble, sir—umbrella held lightly between the first and second fingers, sir, (Allen goes l.) and if you could manage—allow me, sir—. (takes umbrella, shows him, and returns it) to swing it right round now and then, sir, it adds great aplomb.
ALLEN. Great what?
PIFF. French, sir.
ALLEN. (Swings umbrella round awkwardly.) Like that?
PIFF. Not quite like that, sir. A little more airily, sir.
ALLEN. (Swinging it.) Does it ever put anybody’s eye out behind?
PIFF. I don’t think that point is considered of much importance in good society, sir—that is much better, sir. (Goes r.Allen l.) If you would practice like that a little every day, sir, you would soon pick it up, sir. A little more bend, sir, and—er—don’t forget the wobble.