The Chronicles of Aunt Minervy Ann

by Joel Chandler Harris

“Atter while, I ’low, ‘Marse Tumlin, I like ter forgot ter tell you—yo’ things done come.’ He say, ‘What things, Minervy Ann?’ I ’low, ‘Dem ar contraptions, an’ dat ar bob-tail hoss. He look mighty lean an’ hongry, de hoss do, but Hamp he say dat’s bekaze he’s a high-bred hoss. He say dem ar high-bred hosses won’t take on no fat, no matter how much you feed um.’

“Marse Tumlin sorter drum on de table. Atter while he ’low, ‘Dey done come, is dey, Minervy Ann?’ I say, ‘Yasser, dey er here right now. Hamp puts it down dat dat ar hoss one er de gayliest creatur’s what ever make a track in dis town.’

“Well, suh, ’tain’t no use ter tell you what else wuz said, kaze ’twan’t much. I seed dat Marse Tumlin want gwine ter talk ’bout it, on account er bein’ ’fear’d he’d hurt Miss Vallie’s feelin’s ef he tol’ ’er dat he done swap off all dat wil’ lan’ fer dem ar things an’ dat ar bob-tail hoss. Dat what he done. Yasser! I hear ’im sesso atterwards. He swap it off ter Marse Paul Conant.

“I thank my Lord it come out all right, but it come mighty nigh bein’ de ruination er de fambly.”

“How was that?” I inquired.

“Dat what I’m gwine ter tell you, suh. Right atter supper dat night, Marse Tumlin say he got ter go down town fer ter see a man on some business, an’ he ax me ef I won’t stay in de house dar wid Miss Vallie. ’Twa’n’t no trouble ter me, bekaze I’d ’a’ been on de place anyhow, an’ so when I got de kitchen cleaned up an’ de things put away, I went back in de house whar Miss Vallie wuz at. Marse Tumlin wuz done gone.

“Miss Vallie, she sot at de table doin’ some kind er rufflin’, an’ I sot back ag’in de wall in one er dem ar high-back cheers. What we said I’ll never tell you, suh, bekaze I’m one er deze kinder folks what ain’t no sooner set down an’ git still dan dey goes ter noddin’. Dat’s me. Set me down in a cheer, high-back er low-back, an’ I’m done gone! I kin set here on de step an’ keep des ez wide-’wake ez a skeer’d rabbit, but set me down in a cheer—well, suh, I’d like ter see anybody keep me ’wake when dat’s de case.

“Dar I sot in dat ar high-back cheer, Miss Vallie rufflin’ an’ flutin’ sump’n, an’ tryin’ ter make me talk, an’ my head rollin’ ’roun’ like my neck done broke. Bimeby, blam! blam! come on de do’. We got one er dem ar jinglin’ bells now, suh, but in dem times we had a knocker, an’ it soun’ like de roof fallin’ in. I like ter jumped out’n my skin. Miss Vallie drapped her conflutements an’ ’low, ‘What in de worl’! Aunt Minervy Ann, go ter de do’.’