2824. Opposition of Parents to Marriage.—In deciding whether the parental opposition to a marriage is reasonable or not, the pastor should take into consideration both the motives for the opposition and the reasons in favor of the marriage.
(a) The motives for the opposition are reasonable, if the parents object because of the undesirability of one of the couple, or their incompatibility, or the evil consequences that will follow the marriage. A person is undesirable on account of defects of soul (e.g., an atheist, a drunkard, a libertine, a man or woman of ill-fame, a cruel man, an ill-tempered woman), or of body (e.g., a person who is deformed, or malodorous, or afflicted with syphilis or other serious disease), or of mind (e.g., a half-witted person), or of economical ability (e.g., a man who is a gambler or spendthrift, or who is unable to earn a living; a woman who is loaded with debts or who cannot take care of a home). There is incompatibility when the ages of the couple or their rank in life, their race, their education, their tastes, or their dispositions are utterly different. There are evil consequences when scandals, hatreds, disgrace, or loss of temporal goods will ensue.
(b) The reason for the marriage, however, may suffice to prevail over the parental objections. Thus, if the strong disapproval of relatives is the only reason against a marriage and its abandonment will make the couple unhappy for life, charity does not oblige to such a sacrifice. And the temporal advantage of a family should not be preferred to the spiritual benefit, if their son who is wild wishes to marry a poor girl who has a good influence over him rather than a wealthy girl whom he does not admire.
2825. Religious Duties before Marriage.—(a) Confession.—A public sinner (e.g., one who has been living in concubinage) is obliged to go to confession before marriage in order to repair his scandal. A sinner whose guilt is not public must repent before receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony, since it is a Sacrament of the Living and supposes the state of grace; but an act of contrition strictly suffices. It is recommended, however, that all persons go to confession as a preparation and that they make a general confession. The confessor should be told of any occult or incriminating impediment that was not disclosed to the pastor, and it is therefore advisable that the confession precede the ceremony by several days, so as to allow time for possible dispensations.
(b) Communion.—It is better that Communion be received on the day of one’s marriage, but, if this is not convenient, it may be received several days before or several days after. There is no command as to this, but the Church’s counsel is most earnest.
2826. The Celebration of Marriage.—(a) Requisites for Validity.—In order to be valid, a Catholic’s marriage must be celebrated in the presence of the parish-priest or Ordinary, or of a priest delegated by either, and of at least two witnesses. There are two exceptions to this law, namely, in danger of death when the priest cannot be had and in the case of inability to appear before a priest within a month. This law is most suitable, since marriage is not a mere profane contract, but a Sacrament subject to the Church; the law is also necessary, since secret or clandestine marriages would be impossible of proof, and society and the family would be seriously harmed if they were permitted except in very extraordinary cases.
(b) Requisites for Lawfulness.—The pastor assists lawfully at a marriage if he has assured himself of the freedom of the parties to marry and of his own right to assist officially at their marriage. The pastor has the right to witness a marriage when the parties are his subjects by reason of their location in his parish, or when he has permission from their pastor or Ordinary to assist at the nuptials. When the bride is from one parish and the groom from another, the rule is that the marriage should be held before the bride’s pastor (Canons 1094 sqq.)
2827. The Rite of Marriage.—(a) The essential rite consists in the words of consent spoken by the bride and groom. The assisting priest asks for this consent, and then (except in a mixed marriage) blesses the newly married pair and the ring. Marriage by sign language or through an interpreter or proxy is not lawful without special permission, and marriage by letter is not recognized (Canons 1088 sqq.).
(b) The accidental rite is the nuptial blessing bestowed during the Nuptial Mass that follows on the marriage. This is omitted in mixed marriages, and also as a rule during Advent and Lent. The place for marriage is regularly in the parish church, if it is a Catholic marriage, but outside the church if it is a mixed marriage (see Canons 1100 sqq.). The Ordinary may dispense from the requirements of place (Canon 1109).
2828. Cooperation in an Unworthy Marriage.—(a) The Priest.—The clergyman acts as the official representative of the Church, and hence only a serious reason will permit his assistance when the unworthiness of one of the parties is known to him in an extra-confessional way. A serious reason would be a threat of bodily harm to the priest or great spiritual detriment to the parties, such as their continuance in the state of sin. A more serious reason is required if one of the parties is an _excommunicatus vitandus_. Finally, at times only passive assistance is permitted, as in certain mixed marriages in which the non-Catholic refuses to give guarantees, but there is greater danger of perversion without than with the assistance (see 2677 sqq.).