Dr. Zachary Pearce, Bishop of Rochester, who wrote No. 572 of the Spectator (altered by Addison), gives an amusing account of one of these quacks. 'I remember one of those Public-spirited Artists at Hammersmith, who told his Audience "that he had been born and bred there, and that, having a special Regard for the place of his Nativity, he was determined to make a Present of five Shillings to as many as would accept of it." The whole Crowd stood agape, and ready to take the Doctor at his Word; when putting his Hand into a long Bag, as every one was expecting his Crown Piece, he drew out a handful of little Packets, each of which he informed the Spectators was constantly sold at five Shillings and six pence, but that he would bate the odd five Shillings to every Inhabitant of that Place; the whole Assembly immediately closed with this generous Offer, and took off all his Physick, after the Doctor had made them vouch for one another, that there were no Foreigners among them, but that they were all Hammersmith Men.' The whole article is an amusing exposé of the quackery then at its height. 'I unluckily called to mind a Story of an Ingenious Gentleman of the last Age, who, lying violently afflicted with the Gout, a Person came and offered his Service to Cure him by a Method, which he assured him was Infallible; the Servant who received the Message, carried it up to his Master, who, enquiring whether the Person came on Foot, or in a Chariot; and being informed he was on Foot: Go, says he, send the Knave about his Business: Was his Method as infallible as he pretends, he would long before now have been in his Coach and Six.
CHAPTER XXXI.
SPAS AND BATHING.
Bath — Manners of the company there — Description of Bath — Its gaieties — Sale of the water — Tunbridge — Epsom — Hampstead — Other spas — Turkish baths — Controversy on hot and cold bathing — The Hummums — Description of a Turkish bath — Other bagnios — Cold bathing and baths.
It was a great time for our English spas, and 'Spaw Water' was a favourite drink with the temperate. Chief of all, for its curative qualities, and for its society, was Bath, or 'The Bath,' as it was called; and, as it occupies such a prominent position in the social life of this time, more than a passing notice of it is required. Misson's description of it is short but businesslike. 'This Town takes its name from the Baths for which it is famous. Several in Switzerland and Germany are called Baden for the same reason. In Winter Bath makes a very melancholy Appearance; but during the Months of May, June, July, and August, there is a concourse of genteel Company, that peoples, enriches, and adorns it; at that Time, Provisions and Lodgings grow dear. Thousands go thither to pass away a few Weeks, without heeding either the Baths or the Waters, but only to divert themselves with good Company. They have Musick, Gaming, Public Walks, Balls, and a little Fair every Day.'
The manners of this 'concourse of genteel company' are thus described by Steele.[547] 'In the Autumn of the same Year I made my Appearance at Bath. I was now got into the Way of Talk proper for Ladies, and was run into a vast Acquaintance among them, which I always improved to the best advantage. In all this Course of Time, and some Years following, I found a Sober, Modest Man was always looked upon by both Sexes as a precise unfashioned Fellow of no Life or Spirit. It was ordinary for a Man who had been drunk in good Company, or passed a Night with a Wench, to speak of it next Day before Women for whom he had the greatest Respect. He was reproved, perhaps, with a Blow of the Fan, or an Oh Fie, but the angry Lady still preserved an apparent Approbation in her Countenance: He was called a strange wicked Fellow, a sad Wretch; he shrugs his shoulders, swears, receives another Blow, swears again he did not know he swore, and all was well. You might often see Men game in the Presence of Women, and throw at once for more than they were worth, to recommend themselves as Men of Spirit.'
Perhaps the most graphic description of daily life at Bath is given in a sixpenny pamphlet entitled 'A Step to the Bath with a Character of the place' (London 1700). It is published anonymously, but I have no doubt in my own mind that it was written by Ward, as it is exactly his style, and is published by his publisher. Of course, in his writings, we must not look for polished language; but his descriptions are accurate, and as such well worth having. He thus describes the place:—
'The first we went to, is call'd the King's; and to it joyns the Queen's, both running in one; and the most famous for Cures. In this Bath was at least fifty of both Sexes, with a Score or two of Guides, who by their Scorbutic Carcasses, and Lackered Hides, you would think they had lain Pickling a Century of Years in the Stygian Lake; Some had those Infernal Emissaries to support their Impotent Limbs: Others to Scrub their Putrify'd Carcasses, like a Race Horse.... At the Pump was several a Drenching their Gullets, and Gormandizing the Reaking Liquor by wholesale.
'From thence we went to the Cross Bath, where most of the Quality resorts, more fam'd for Pleasure than Cures. Here is perform'd all the Wanton Dalliances imaginable; Celebrated Beauties, Panting Breasts, and Curious Shapes, almost Expos'd to Publick View: Languishing eyes, Darting Killing Glances, Tempting Amorous Postures, attended by soft Musick, enough to provoke a Vestal to forbidden Pleasure, Captivate a Saint, and charm a Jove: Here was also different Sexes, from Quality to the Honourable Knights, Country Put, and City Madam's.... The ladies with their floating Jappan Bowles, freighted with Confectionary, Kick-Knacks, Essences and Perfumes, Wade about, like Neptun's Courtiers, suppling their Industrious Joynts. The Vigorous Sparks, presenting them with several Antick Postures, as Sailing on their Backs, then Embracing the Element, sink in Rapture.... The usual time being come to forsake that fickle Element, Half Tub Chairs, Lin'd with Blankets, Ply'd as thick as Coaches at the Play House, or Carts at the Custom House.
'Bathing being over for that Day we went to walk in the Grove, a very pleasant place for Diversion; there is the Royal Oak and several Raffling Shops: In one of the Walks, is several Sets of Nine Pins and Attendants to wait on you: Tipping all Nine for a Guinea, is as common there, as two Farthings for a Porrenger of Barley Broth, at the Hospital Gate in Smithfield. On several of the Trees was hung a Lampoon on the Marriage of one Mr. S—— a Drugmonger and the famous Madam S—— of London.
'Having almost tir'd ourselves with walking, we took a Bench to ease our weary Pedestals. Now, said my Friend, I'll give you an impartial Account of the Perfections, Qualities and Functions, of a few particular Persons that are among this Amphibious Crowd.... To give you a particular Description of each of 'em, will require a Week's time at least. Come, therefore, let's go to some Tipling Mansion, and Carrouse, till we have Exhilerated our Drouthy Souls: To which I readily agreed. About five in the Evening, we went to see a great Match at Bowling: There was Quality, and Reverend Doctors of both Professions, Topping Merchants, Broken Bankers, Noted Mercers, Inns of Court Rakes, City Beaus, Stray'd Prentices, and Dancing-Masters in abundance. Fly, fly, fly, fly, said one; Rub, Rub, rub, rub, cry'd another. Ten Guineas to five I Uncover the Jack, says a third. Damn these Nice Fingers of mine, cry'd my Lord, I Slipt my Bowl and mistook the Bias. Another Swearing he knew the Ground to an Inch, and would hold five Pound his Bowl came in.