'From hence we went to the Groom Porters, where they were a Labouring like so many Anchor Smiths, at the Oake, Back Gammon, Tick Tack, Irish, Basset, and throwing of Mains. There was Palming, Lodging, Loaded Dice, Levant, and Gammoning, with all the Speed imaginable; but the Cornish Rook was too hard for them all. The Bristol Fair Sparks had but a very bad bargain of it; and little occasion for Returns. Bank Bills and Exchequer Notes were as Plenty, as Pops at the Chocolate Houses or Patternoster Row. Having satisfied our Curiosity here; we left them as busie a shaking their Elbows, as the Apple Women in Stocks Market, Wallnuts in October.
'And meeting with three or four more Acquaintance, we stroul'd to a Bristol-Milk Dary-House, and Enjoy'd our selves like brave Bacchanalians.'
This, then, was how the day was spent at Bath, with the exception of when some person of quality gave an entertainment to a select number of visitors—and this they were expected to do. Our writer describes his experience of one: 'The Ball is always kept at the Town Hall, a very spacious Room, and fitted up for that Purpose. During which, the Door is kept by a Couple of Brawny Beadles, to keep out the Mobility, looking as fierce as the Uncouth Figures at Guild-Hall; there was Extraordinary Fine Dancing (and how could it otherwise chuse, for Spouse and I had a Hand in it). A Consort of Delicate Musick, Vocal and Instrumental, perform'd by good Masters; A Noble Collation of dry Sweet Meats, Rich Wine and large Attendance. The Lady who was the Donor, wore an Extraordinary Rich Favour, to distinguish her from the rest, which is always the Custom; and before they break up to chuse another for the next Day, which fell upon a Shentlewoman of Wales; but no ways Derogated from hur Honour, or Disparag'd her Country in the least, but hur was as Noble, and as Generous, as e'er an English Shentlewoman of them all: To hur Honour be it Spoke.'
And he winds up the pamphlet with 'A Character of the Bath.'
'Tis neither Town nor City, yet goes by the Name of both: five Months in the Year 'tis as Populous as London, the other seven as desolate as a Wilderness. Its chiefest Inhabitants are Turnspit-Dogs; and it looks like Lombard Street on a Saints day. During the Season, it hath as many Families in a House as Edenborough; and Bills are as thick for Lodgings to be Let, as there was for Houses in the Fryars on the Late Act of Parliament for the Dissolution of Priviledges; but when the Baths are useless, so are their Houses, and as empty as the new Buildings by St. Giles in the Fields; The Baths I can compare to nothing but the Boylers in Fleet Lane or Old Bedlam, for they have a reaking steem all the Year. In a Word, 'tis a Valley of Pleasure, yet a sink of Iniquity; Nor is there any Intrigues or Debauch Acted in London, but is Mimick'd here.'
The Water was bottled and sold, and in order to guarantee its purity an advertisement was issued in 1706: 'Notice is hereby given, that George Allen is now chosen Pumper of the King's Bath Waters in Bath, and that the true Waters are to be had of none but him who seals all Bottles and Vessels with a Seal, whereon is the City Arms, viz a Borough Wall and Sword, and round it these Words, The King's Bath Water, George Allen, Pumper.' It was supplied in London fresh three times a week, as we find by another advertisement of 1709.
Tunbridge ranked next to Bath as a fashionable resort, and it is thus described in a contemporary play ('Tunbridge Walks,' ed. 1703).
Loveworth. But Tunbridge I suppose is the Seat of Pleasure; Prithee, what Company does the Place afford?
Reynard. Like most publick Assemblies, a Medley of all Sorts, Fops, majestick and diminutive, from the long Flaxen Wig with a splendid Equipage, to the Merchants' Spruce Prentice, that's always mighty neat about the Legs; Squires come to Court some fine Town Lady, and Town Sparks to pick up a Russet Gown; for the Women here are Wild Country Ladies, with ruddy Cheeks like a Sevil Orange, that gape, stare, scamper, and are brought hither to be Disciplined; Fat City Ladies with tawdry Atlasses, in Defiance of the Act of Parliament; and slender Court Ladies with French Scarffs, French Aprons, French Night Cloaths and French Complexions.
Loveworth. But what are the Chief Diversions here?