Many other such dreadful things might be told you, but these are enough, and too many too, if God in his wisdom had thought necessary to prevent them.
Atten. This is a dreadful Story: and I would to God that it might be a warning to others to instruct them to fear before God, and pray, lest he gives them up to doe as John Cox hath done. For surely self-murderers cannot goe to Heaven: and therefore, as you have said, he that dieth by his own hands, is certainly gone to Hell. But speak a word or two of the other man you mentioned.
Wise. What? of a wicked man dying in Despair?
Atten. Yes, of a wicked man dying in despair.
Wise. Well then: [169a] This Mr. Badmans other Brother was a very wicked man, both in Heart and Life; I say in Heart, because he was so in Life, nor could anything reclaim him; neither good Men, good Books, good Examples, nor Gods Judgements. Well, after he had lived a great while in his sins, God smote with a sickness of which he died. Now in his sickness his Conscience began to be awakened, and he began to roar out of his ill-spent Life, insomuch that the Town began to ring of him. Now when it was noysed about, many of the Neighbours came to see him, and to read by him, as is the common way with some; but all that they could doe,
Atten. This brings to my mind a man that a Friend of mine told me of.
Wise. This is almost like Saul, who being forsaken of God, went to the Witch of Endor, and so to the Devil for help. [170a] But alas, should I set my self to collect these dreadful Stories, it would be easie in little time to present you with hundreds of them: But I will conclude as I began; They that are their own Murderers, or that die in Despair, after they have lived a life of wickedness, do surely go to Hell.
And here I would put in a Caution: Every one that dieth under consternation of spirit; that is, under amazement and great fear, do not therefore die in Despair: For a good man may have this for his bands in his death, and yet go to Heaven and Glory. For, as I said before, He that is a good man, a man that hath Faith and Holiness, a lover and Worshipper of God by Christ, according to his Word, may die in consternation of spirit: for Satan will not be wanting to assault good men upon their death-bed, but they are secured by the Word and Power of God; yea, and are also helped, though with much agony of spirit, to exercise themselves in Faith and Prayer, the which he that dieth in Despair, can by no means doe. But let us return to Mr. Badman, and enter further Discourse of the manner of his Death.