And some weeks afterwards:
“Sept. 23.—We are just to the south of all Europe, and I bid adieu to it for ever, without a wish of ever revisiting it, and still less with any desire of taking up my rest in the strange land to which I am going. Ah! no,—farewell, perishing world! ‘To me, to live shall be Christ.’ I have nothing to do here, but to labour as a stranger, and by secret prayer and outward exertion, do as much as possible for the church of Christ and my own soul, till my eyes close in death, and my soul wings its way to a brighter world. Strengthen me, O God my Saviour! that, whether living or dying, I may be thine.”
He preached once every Sunday on board the ship, the captain not permitting it more frequently. To make up for this loss, he almost daily read religious books, with remarks of his own, to as many as would assemble to hear him; but he could gain the serious attention of very few.
“Sept. 10th.—Endeavoured to consider what should be my study and preparation for the mission; but could devise no particular plan, but to search the Scriptures, what are God’s promises respecting the spread of the gospel, and of the means by which it shall be accomplished. Long seasons of prayer in behalf of the heathen, I am sure, are necessary; Isaiah lxii. I began Isaiah, and learnt by heart the promises scattered through the first twelve chapters, hoping it may prove profitable matter for meditation as well as prayer. Read the Pilgrim’s Progress, below, amidst the greatest noise and interruption. Notwithstanding the clamour, I felt as if I could preach to a million of noisy persons with unconquerable boldness. We have been becalmed the whole day. I fear my soul has been much in the same state: but I would not that it should be so any longer.”
“Sept. 15th.—Sunday.—‘He that testifieth these things, saith, behold—I come quickly—Amen—even so—come quickly, Lord Jesus!’ Happy John! though shut out from society and the ordinances of grace: happy wast thou in thy solitude, when by it thou wast induced thus gladly to welcome the Lord’s words, and repeat them with a prayer. Read and preached on Acts xiii. 38, 39. In the latter part, when I was led to speak, without preparation, on the all-sufficiency of Christ to save sinners, who come to him with all their sins without delay, I was enabled by divine aid, to speak with freedom and energy: my soul was refreshed, and I retired, seeing reason to be thankful. The weather was fair and, calm, inviting the mind to tranquillity and praise: the ship just moved upon the face of the troubled ocean. I went below in hopes of reading Baxter’s Call to the Unconverted: but there was no getting down, as they were taking out water: so I sat with the seamen on the gun-deck. As I walked in the evening at sunset, I thought with pleasure, but a few more suns, and I shall be where my sun shall no more go down.”
“Sept. 16th.—Two things were much in my mind this morning in prayer; the necessity of entering more deeply into my own heart, and labouring after humiliation, and, for that reason, setting apart times for fasting: as also to devote times for solemn prayer for fitness in the ministry; especially love for souls; and for the effusion of the Spirit on heathen lands; according to God’s command.”
The study of the Hindoostanee language was part of his employment during the voyage. He also instructed some of the young soldiers in mathematics, and read French with a passenger. As they entered the warm latitudes, he found his strength diminishing very fast, and he began to fear he could never be useful, as a preacher, in India. “But what means this anxiety?” he said; “Is it not of God that I am led into outward difficulties, that my faith may be tried? Suppose,” (addressing himself,) “you are obliged to return, or that you never see India, but wither and die here, what is that to you? Do the will of God where you can, and leave the rest to him.”—About this time he was much impressed with this sentence in Milner’s Church History;—“to believe, to suffer, and to love, was the primitive taste;” and he received great encouragement by being thus led to contemplate the examples of those who had been more bold in serving Christ.
CHAPTER V.
The fleet touched at several ports on their way. Some portions of his Journal at St. Salvador, in South America, will give an interesting variety to our pages.