From earth I rise, and seek the joys
At his right hand.’
‘I all on earth forsake,
Its wisdom, fame, and power;
And him my only portion make,
My shield and tower.’
“There was something peculiarly solemn and affecting to me in this hymn, and particularly at this time. The truth of the sentiments I knew well enough. But alas! I felt that the state of mind expressed in it was above mine at the time; and I felt loth to forsake all on earth.”
“I went on board in extreme anguish, and found an opportunity in the sloop by which I passed to the ship, to cry, with brokenness of spirit, to the Lord. The words, ‘Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God?’ were brought to my mind with such force, that I burst into a flood of tears, and felt much relieved in my soul, by the thought that God was thus compassionate, and the blessed Lord Jesus a merciful and compassionate High Priest, who condescended to sympathize with me. In the afternoon, it pleased God to give me a holy and blessed season in prayer, in which my soul recovered much of its wonted peace.”
Orders for the sailing of the fleet with which his ship was connected, were given on the 10th of August, whilst Martyn was twenty miles in the country. An express was sent after him; but had not an accident happened to the ship in clearing from the harbour, he would have been too late. On the 14th, the fleet anchored again for two weeks, at Cork, in Ireland. He had suffered much from despondence and weakness of health, and speaks in his Journal of the trials of his lot as being far greater than he had expected. But he was blessed also with spiritual consolation, in proportion as he placed his confidence on Him who called him to the service. On one occasion he says,
“After a long and blessed season in prayer, I felt the spirit of adoption drawing me very near to God, and giving me the full assurance of his love. My fervent prayer was, that I might be more deeply and habitually convinced of his unchanging everlasting love, and that my whole soul might be altogether in Christ. I scarcely knew how to express the desires of my heart. I wanted to be all in Christ, and to have Christ for my ‘all in all;’—to be encircled in his ‘everlasting arms, and to be swallowed up altogether in his fulness. I wished for no created good, nor for men to know my experience: but to be one with thee, and live for thee, O God, my Saviour and Lord. O may it be my constant care to live free from the spirit of bondage, at all times having access to the Father. This I feel should be the state of the Christian: perfect reconciliation with God, and a perfect appropriation of him in all his endearing attributes, according to all that he has promised: it is this that shall bear me safely through the storm.”