“June 7th.—I have not felt such heart-rending pain since I parted with L—— in Cornwall. [The lady to whom he was attached.] But the Lord brought me to consider the folly and wickedness of all this. I could not help saying,—Go, Hindoos, go on in your misery,—let Satan still reign over you; for he that was appointed to labour among you, is consulting his ease.—No, thought I, earth and hell shall never keep me back from my work. I am cast down, but not destroyed. I began to consider why I was so uneasy,—‘Cast thy care upon him, for he careth for you.’ ‘In every thing by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;’—these promises were sweetly fulfilled, before long, to me.”
“July 4th.—Mr. Cecil showed me a letter in Swartz’s own hand writing. Its contents were of a very experimental nature,—applicable to my case. The life of faith in Jesus is what I want. My soul might almost burst with astonishment at its own wickedness! but at the same time, trusting to mercy, rise and go, and try to make men happy. The Lord go with me! Let my right hand forget her cunning, if I remember not Jerusalem above my chief joy.”
On the 8th of July 1805, Mr. Martyn proceeded to Portsmouth, from which place he was to sail in a ship of the East India Company, to Calcutta, there to act as chaplain of the Company. His feelings were so painful, that he fainted and fell into a fit at a tavern on the road. He was met by a number of friends at Portsmouth, who had come to bid him a final farewell, for this life; and he received there a silver compass, sent by his congregation, as a token of remembrance, which he acknowledged in the following letter:
Portsmouth, July 11, 1805.
“My dearest Brethren,—I write in great haste to thank you most affectionately for the token of your love, which our dear brother and minister has given me from you. O may my God richly recompense you for your great affection! May he reward your prayers for me, by pouring tenfold blessings into your own bosoms! May he bless you with all spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus! At the command of God, as I believe, I shall, in a few hours, embark for those regions where your little present may be of use to me, in guiding my way through the trackless desert. I pray that the word of God, which is your compass, may, through the Spirit, direct your path through the wilderness of this world, and bring you in safety to the better country above. I beg your prayers, and assure you of mine. Remember me sometimes at your social meetings, and particularly at that which you hold on the Sabbath morning. Pray not only for my sinful soul,—that I may be kept faithful unto death;—but especially, for the souls of the poor Heathen. Whether I live or die, let Christ be magnified by the ingathering of multitudes to himself. I have many trials awaiting me, and so have you; but that covenant of grace in which we are interested, provides for the weakest, and secures our everlasting welfare.—Farewell, dear Brethren! May God long continue to you the invaluable labours of your beloved minister; and may you, with the blessing of his ministry, grow, day by day, in all spirituality and humility of mind; till God, in his mercy, shall call you, each in his own time, to the eternal enjoyment of his glory.”
On the 17th July the ship sailed, in company with a fleet, taking an army to India. “It was a very painful moment,” he wrote to one of his friends, “when I awoke, on the morning after you left us, and found the fleet actually sailing down the channel. Though it was what I had anxiously been looking forward to so long, yet the consideration of being parted for ever from my friends, almost overcame me. My feelings were those of a man who should suddenly be told, that every friend he had in the world was dead. It was only by prayer for them that I could be comforted; and this was indeed a refreshment to my soul, because by meeting them at the throne of grace, I seemed to be again in their society.”
The vessel, however, unexpectedly stopped in two days, at Falmouth, an English port, in sight of Cornwall. It was a renewal of the pain of separation to be thus brought again, for a short time, upon the shores which he had supposed he had left for ever. He appears, from his Journal, to have suffered great struggles with his earthly affections: but he was supported by Him who never leaves his disciples to contend alone with the trials of their faith.
“July 29th.—I was much engaged, at intervals, in learning the hymn, ‘The God of Abraham praise;’ as often as I could use the language of it with any truth, my heart was a little at ease.
‘The God of Abraham praise,
At whose supreme command