52. Always look people in the face when you speak to them, otherwise you will be thought conscious of some guilt; besides, you lose the opportunity of reading their countenances; from which you will much better learn the impression your discourse makes upon them, than you can possibly do from their words; for words are at the will of every one, but the countenance is frequently involuntary.
53. If, in speaking to a person, you are not heard, and should be desired to repeat what you said, do not raise your voice in the repetition, lest you should be thought angry, on being obliged to repeat what you had said before; it was probably owing to the hearer's inattention.
54. One word only, as to swearing. Those who addict themselves to it, and interlard their discourse with oaths, can never be considered as gentlemen; they are generally people of low education, and are unwelcome in what is called good company. It is a vice that has no temptation to plead, but is, in every respect, as vulgar as it is wicked.
55. Never accustom yourself to scandal, nor listen to it; for though it may gratify the malevolence of some people, nine times out of ten it is attended with great disadvantages. The very person you tell it to, will, on reflection, entertain a mean opinion of you, and it will often bring you into a very disagreeable situation. And as there would be no evil-speakers, if there were no evil-hearers; it is in scandal as in robbery; the receiver is as bad as the thief. Besides, it will lead people to shun your company, supposing that you would speak ill of them to the next acquaintance you meet.
56. Carefully avoid talking either of your own or other people's domestic concerns. By doing the one you will be thought vain; by entering into the other, you will be considered as officious. Talking of yourself is an impertinence to the company; your affairs are nothing to them; besides, they cannot be kept too secret. And as to the affairs of others, what are they to you? In talking of matters that no way concern you, you are liable to commit blunders, and, should you touch any one in a sore part, you may possibly lose his esteem. Let your conversation, then, in mixed companies, always be general.
57. Jokes, bon-mots, or the little pleasantries of one company, will not often bear to be told in another; they are frequently local, and take their rise from certain circumstances; a second company may not be acquainted with these circumstances, and of course your story may not be understood, or want explaining; and if, after you have prefaced it with, "I will tell you a good thing," the sting should not be immediately perceived, you will appear exceedingly ridiculous, and wish you had not told it. Never, then, repeat in one place what you hear in another.
58. In most debates, take up the favourable side of the question; however, let me caution you against being clamorous; that is, never maintain an argument with heat though you know yourself right; but offer your sentiments modestly and coolly; and, if this does not prevail, give it up, and try to change the subject, by saying something to this effect, "I find we shall hardly convince one another, neither is there any necessity to attempt it; so let us talk of something else."
59. Not that I would have you give up your opinion always; no, assert your own sentiments, and oppose those of others when wrong, but let your manner and voice be gentle and engaging, and yet no ways affected. If you contradict, do it with, I may be wrong, but—I won't be positive, but I really think—I should rather suppose—If I may be permitted to say—and close your dispute with good humour, to shew you are neither displeased yourself, nor meant to displease the person you dispute with.
60. Acquaint yourself with the character and situation of the company you go into, before you give a loose to your tongue; for should you enlarge on some virtue, which anyone present may notoriously want: or should you condemn some vices which any of the company may be particularly addicted to, they will he apt to think your reflections pointed and personal, and you will be sure to give offence. This consideration will naturally lead you, not to suppose things said in general to be levelled at you.
61. Low-bred people, when they happen occasionally to be in good company, imagine themselves to be the subject of every separate conversation. If any part of the company whispers, it is about them; if they laugh, it is at them; and if any thing is said, which they do not comprehend, they immediately suppose it is meant of them.—This mistake is admirably ridiculed in one of our celebrated comedies, "I am sure, says Scrub, they were talking of me, for they laughed consumedly."