About the year 1628, he was married to that virtuous and religious lady, Jean Campbel sister to the worthy marquis of Argyle, by whom he had some children, two at least, one of whom it appears died about the beginning of the year 1635, for we find Mr. Rutherford in one of his letters, about that time, comforting this noble lady upon such a mournful occasion.
In the year 1633, Charles I. to honour his coronation, in the place of his birth and first parliament, dignified many of the Scots nobility and gentry with higher titles, and places of office and honour, among whom was Sir John Gordon, who upon the eighth of May was created Viscount Kenmuir and Lord Gordon of Lochinvar[57].
Accordingly the viscount came to the parliament which sat down at Edinburgh June 16th 1633, and was present the first day, but stayed only a few days thereafter, for being afraid to displease the king, from whom he had both received some, and expected more honours, and not having the courage to glorify God by his presence, when his cause was at stake, deserted the parliament under pretence of indisposition of body, and returned home to his house at Kenmuir in Galloway, and there slept securely for about a year without check of conscience, till August 1634, that his affairs occasioned his return to Edinburgh, where he remained some days, not knowing that with the ending of his affairs he was to end his life. He returned home with some alteration of bodily health, and from that day his sickness increased until September 12th ensuing, which was the day of his death.
But the Lord had other thoughts than that this nobleman should die without some sense of his sin, or yet go out of this world unobserved.—And therefore it pleased him with his bodily affliction to shake his soul with fears, making him sensible of the power of eternal wrath, for his own good, and for an example to others in after-ages never to wrong their own consciences, or to be wanting to the cause or interest of God, when he gives them an opportunity to that purpose.
Upon the Sabbath August 31st, being much weakened, he was visited by a religious and learned minister who then lived in Galloway not far from the house of Kenmuir, his lordship much rejoiced at his coming, observing the all-ruling providence in sending him such a man (who had been abroad from Galloway some time) sooner home than he expected. After supper his lordship drew on a conference with the minister, shewing he was much taken up with the fears of death, and extremity of pain. "I never dreamed, said he, that death had such a terrible, austere and gloomy countenance. I dare not die, howbeit I know I must die. What shall I do, for I dare not venture in gripes with death, because I find my sins grievous and so many that I fear my account is out of order, and not so as becomes a dying man."
The minister for some time discoursed to him anent this weakness of nature, which was in all men, believers not excepted, which made them afraid of death, but he hoped Christ would be his second in the combat, willing him to rely upon the strength of Christ; but withal said, "My lord, I fear more the ground of your fear of death, which is (as you say) the consciousness of your sins, for there can be no plea betwixt you and your Lord if your sins be not taken away in Christ, and therefore make that sure, and fear not." My lord answered, "I have been too late in coming to God, and have deferred the time of making my account, so long that I fear I have but the foolish virgins part of it, who came and knocked at the door of the bridegroom so late, and never got in."
The minister having resumed somewhat both of his own and his father's sins, particularly their cares for this world and worldly honours, and thinking his lordship designed to extenuate his fault in this, he drew several weighty propositions in way of conference about the fears of death and his eternal all, which depended upon his being in or out of Christ, and obtested him in these words,—"Therefore I intreat you, my lord, by the mercies of God, by your appearing before Christ your Judge, and by the salvation of your soul, that you would look ere you leap, and venture not into eternity without a certificate under Jesus Christ's hand, because it is said of the hypocrite, Job xx. 11. He lieth down in the grave, and his bones are full of the sins of his youth."
My lord replied, "When I begin to look upon my life, I think all is wrong in it, and the lateness of my reckoning affrighteth me, therefore stay with me, and shew me the marks of a child of God, for you must be my second in this combat and wait upon me." His lady answered, "You must have Jesus Christ to be your second," to which he heartily said "Amen—but, continued he, how shall I know that I am in the state of grace, for while I be resolved my fears will still overburthen me." The minister said, "My lord, scarcely or never doth a cast-a-way anxiously and carefully ask the question, Whether he be a child of God or not?" But my lord excepted against that saying, "I do not think there is any reprobate in hell, but he would with all his heart have the kingdom of heaven." The minister having explained the different desires in reprobates, his lordship said, "You never saw any tokens of true grace in me, and that is my great and only fear."
The minister said, "I was indeed sorry to see you so fearfully carried away with temptation, and you know, I gave you faithful warning that it would come to this. I wish your soul was deeply humbled for sin; but to your demand, I thought you ever had a love for the saints, even to the poorest, who carried Christ's image, altho' they could never serve nor profit you in any way, 1 John iii. 14. By this we know we are translated from death unto life, &c." And at last with this mark after some objections he seemed convinced. The minister asked him, "My lord, dare you now quit your part in Christ, and subscribe an absolute resignation of him?" My lord said, "O Sir, that is too hard, I hope he and I have more to do together, and I will be advised ere I do that," and then asked, "What mark is it to have judgment to discern a minister called and sent of God from an hirling?" The minister allowed it to be a good mark, and cited John x. 4. My sheep know my voice.
At the second conference the minister urged deep humiliation. He acknowledged the necessity thereof, but said, "Oh! if I could get him! But sin causeth me to be jealous of his love, to such a man as I have been." The minister advised him "to be jealous of himself, but not of Jesus Christ, there being no meeting betwixt them without a sense of sin," Isa. lxi. 2, 3. Whereupon my lord said with a deep sigh accompanied with tears, "God send me that," and thereafter reckoned out a certain number of his sins, which were as serpents or crocodiles before his eyes. The minister told him, "that death and him were yet strangers, and hoped he would tell another tale ere all the play be ended, and you shall think death a sweet messenger to carry you to your Father's house." He said with tears, "God make it so," and desired him to pray.