They manage these things better in France. All Dogs, Fowls, &c. found in the Streets of Paris, are finished forthwith by the Gens d’Armes.
It cannot be too generally known, that by The Metropolis Street Act of the 57th Geo. III. cap. 24. in § 67. “The Commissioners of the Parochial Paving Boards are empowered to order the removal of any matter or thing which they consider a Nuisance, on the complaint of any Inhabitant.”
Such controlling power is but too needful—there is no lack of people who love their dear “Dumb Animals,” as they call their Dogs and Parrots, &c. not a little better than they do their Neighbours,—aye, who love them as well as Simon Suck-eggs does his Fowls! who would not willingly sacrifice the penny profit he makes by the oviparous faculty of his Poultry, however much, or however many people may be annoyed by it.
If Persons who are offended by any of the above nuisances, apply to the Clerk of the Commissioners of the Paving, and beg him to lay their complaint before the Board, they will issue a mandate ordering their immediate abatement as a Public Nuisance: and thus, the evil is removed, without any of that unpleasant feeling which might arise from one Neighbour complaining of another.
The Author is now framing “a Sleep Act,” which will shew the importance of Sleep to Health, the causes which so often and so cruelly disturb “the Business of the Night,” on the due performance of which, depends our power of performing “the Business of the Day,” and the remedies which the Legislature may easily apply for its preservation. One of their most beneficial acts would be to abolish a
Vulgar and Barbarous Custom which prevails among common Workmen, when they first come to work in the Morning, to make as much Noise as they possibly can; thus, if you live near any Manufactory, &c., or if a house is building or repairing near you—from Six in the Morning till half-past, they will raise such a horrible din of Hammering, &c. that all within Ear shot of them are presently awoke; and indeed they seem to do it for that sole purpose, for the following hours they are often quiet enough.
Those who are so outrageously active so early in the day are technically termed Powters, i. e. such extraordinary industry being very often a mere manœuvre to deceive their Neighbours, which they artfully affect to gain Credit, and which, like setting up a shewy Shop Front, is one of the usual tokens of approaching Bankruptcy.
Let it be enacted, that all Manufacturers do perform the Noisy part of their processes during the middle of the Day:—this might be easily managed in most trades without any interruption of their business! What can be easier, than for the work which makes such a Noise during the first half hour in the Morning to be done in the last half hour in the Evening?
Let the Dog Tax be levied without exception, (but as far as regards only those which lead Blind Men,) and let due Rewards be given to those who inform against persons who evade it, of whom there are not a few, the only way of preventing which is to Let all Dogs wear a Collar, on which is engraved the Name and the place of Abode of the Owner;—He who by Fraud avoids a Tax, which by the Laws of his Country he is commanded to pay, is a Traitor, who commits a greater Crime, and deserves as great a Punishment, as he who, by Force, breaks into the Treasury, and takes so much Money out!!!
It is notorious, that the majority of these useless and offensive Animals are maintained by paupers who have hardly the means of maintaining Themselves!—these are the Dogs which, from spare and bad food, are most frequently mischievous—most apt to run Mad—and are most annoying and disturbing to the Public. “As many Beggars, as many Dogs,” is one of our true Old Sayings, and of an Old Song, to which in the next page we have had engraved as it was performed by “Betsy, Billy, and Bow Wow.”