Upon the arrival the same performance is repeated and the same tactics pursued as before, except that this time the visitors kill their fatted pig and set it out, inviting the householder and all his relatives to partake, but, lo and behold! no one will eat. No amount of persuasion will induce them--they have eaten already--they are all sick--they do not like to be invited to eat by their visitors, it being against all the rules of hospitality, etc. To all of these objections the visitors by turn answer, offsetting one reason by another and all the while trying to put the other people into good humor and soften their hearts. But no, the owner of the house and his party refuse, and all this while the fatted pig lies in big black chunks on the floor, surrounded by rice in platters, baskets, and leaves. At this point a few of the visitors again hasten down the notched pole, and gather up out of the grass or underbrush in the adjacent jungle the concealed presents. The arrival of the presents is a grand moment for the father and relatives of the young man. Even the future bride, who up to this time has coyly hidden away in a corner, can not help stealing a few peeps at the display of spears, bolos, daggers, plates, and jars.
Picking them up one by one the owner descants on their beauty, their value (naming an outrageous sum), and his relatives express their sorrow at parting with them. "But," he goes on to say, "it matters not, provided that you see our good will and will join us in this banquet." Whereupon he distributes among his guests according to the order of their standing the array of presents, after which all squat down and begin to eat, the visitors giving an extra dose of wassail to their friends in order that under its warming influence they may soften and yield.
During the course of the meal, the discussion is continued and every appeal made to motives of friendship and self-interest, but in vain--the other side shows no signs of yielding; they say that they can not yet make a fixed contract, that the girl is too young, or that she does not want the suitor; and so the hosts are bade to have patience and to go their way. But now that they have spent an amount varying from P30 to P50 they are not minded to lose it, but will persist in their suit for years. I have heard of marriage transactions that covered 10 years and have personal knowledge of numerous cases that have extended over 6.
The case of a Manóbo in Pilar, upper Agúsan, will illustrate the point. His father, during the interregnum of 1898, first made the proposal for the hand of the girl. It was refused until toward the end of 1904 the parents finally yielded, but on condition that 10 slaves be paid. A few months subsequently, after a course of hard haggling and cunning bargaining, the contract was modified to four slaves plus the equivalent of the value of six. Three slaves were delivered after a raid on a Mañgguáñgan settlement on the middle Sálug (about April, 1905). The 6 "thirties,"2 or P180, were paid in lances, knives, and other things before the demise of the father toward the latter part of 1905, so that one slave still remained to be delivered. On my last visit to Pilar (February, 1910) the poor fiancé was still doing chores around his mother-in-law's house, and the slave was still unpaid. If he can not procure that slave it will probably cost him, in other effects, several times the value of the slave.
2Kat-lo-án, meaning 30, is a monetary unit, representing the value of a good slave.
Proceedings of the kind described before are repeated at frequent intervals for a number of years, but with this exception, that on the ensuing visits presents of no great value are bestowed on the father of the expected bride--a bunch of bananas, a piece of venison, or a few chickens, or some such offering are made, with a reiteration of the petition. A capacious porker with a bounteous supply of sugar-cane brew in big bamboo internodes is brought along occasionally to break down the obdurateness of the householder's heart, until one fine day, under the benign influence of "the cup that cheers," he yields, but intimating that his petitioners can never afford the marriage payments.3 He will then probably recount the purchase price of this own wife, always with exaggerations; descant on the qualities of his daughter, her strength, her beauty, her diligence, her probable fecundity; and deplore the grievous loss to be sustained by her departure from her parents' side. Whereupon the visitors respond that they are willing to substitute a number of slaves to make up for the loss of the daughter, but that in any case she will not leave the paternal home and that the bridegroom will take up his residence there and help his father-in-law in all things; and so the matter is discussed and the payment of a certain number of slaves is determined in the following manner:
DETERMINATION OF THE MARRIAGE PAYMENT
Determination of the marriage payment is the very soul of the whole marriage proceeding. Years and years of service on the part of the would-be husband, presents innumerable on the part of his relatives, and feigned indifference or opposition on the other side have led up to this moment. For the sake of clearness, let us call the father or nearest male relative of the future bride A and the father or nearest male relative of the bridegroom, B.
A, aided by all the cunning of his relatives, lays down as a condition, let us say, seven slaves and one female relative of B, who is to be a substitute for his daughter. To this B rejoins that it is a high price and impossible of fulfillment, that he is not a warrior chief, nor a datu, nor such a wealthy person as A, and that he can never satisfy such a demand, giving a thousand and one reasons, such as sickness or debt. A responds and belittles him for being so deficient in resources, asks if B wants to get a wife for his son gratuitously, and tells him to go home and buy a slave girl for him. He yells indignation at the top of his voice, probably with his hand on his bolo, in a very menacing way.