But if he will not hear, take with thee one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established.
And if he will not hear them, tell it to the church: but if he will not hear the church, let him be to thee as an Heathen man and a Publican.
1.SPEAK evil of no man, says the great apostle; as plain a command as Thou shalt do no murder. But who even among Christians regards this command? Yea, how few are there, that so much as understand it? What is evil-speaking? It is not, (as some suppose) the same with lying or slandering. All a man says, may be as true as the bible; and yet the saying of it is evil-speaking. For evil speaking is neither more nor less, than speaking evil of an absent person: relating something evil which was really done or said, by one that is not present when it is related. Suppose, having seen a man drunk or heard him curse or swear, I tell this when he is absent, it is evil-speaking. In our language this is also by an extremely proper name termed backbiting. Nor is there any material difference between this, and what we usually stile tale-bearing. If the tale be delivered in a soft and quiet manner, (perhaps with expressions of good-will to the person, and of hope, that thing may not be quite so bad) then we call it whispering. But in what manner it be done, the things is the same; the same in substance if not in circumstance. Still it is evil-speaking; still this command, Speak evil of no man, is trampled under foot, if we relate to another the fault of a third person, when he is not present to answer for himself.
2. And how extremely common is this sin, among all orders and degrees of men? How do high and low, rich and poor, wise and foolish, learned and unlearned, run into it continually? Persons who differ from each other in all things else, nevertheless agree in this. How few are there that can testify before God, “I am clear in this matter: I have always set a watch before my mouth, and kept the door of my lips?” What conversation do you hear, of any considerable length, whereof evil-speaking is not one ingredient? And that, even among persons, who in the general have the fear of God before their eyes, and do really desire to have a conscience void of offence toward God and toward man.
3. And the very commonness of this sin, makes it difficult to be avoided. As we are incompassed with it on every side, so if we are not deeply sensible of the danger, and continually guarding against it, we are liable to be carried away by the torrent. In this instance, almost the whole of mankind is, as it were, in a conspiracy against us. And their example steals upon us we know not how; so that we insensibly slide into the imitation of it. Besides, it is recommended from within as well as from without. There is scarce any wrong temper in the mind of man, which may not be occasionally gratified by it, and consequently incline us to it. It gratifies our pride, to relate those faults of others, whereof we think ourselves not to be guilty. Anger, resentment, and all unkind tempers are indulged, by speaking against those with whom we are displeased. And in many cases, by reciting the sins of their neighbours, men indulge their own foolish and hurtful desires.
4. Evil-speaking is the more difficult to be avoided, because it frequently attacks us in disguise. We speak thus, out of a noble, generous (’tis well if we do not say, holy,) indignation against these vile creatures! We commit sin, from mere hatred of sin! We serve the devil, out of pure zeal of God! It is merely in order to punish the wicked, that we run into this wickedness. So do “the passions (as one speaks) all justify themselves,” and palm sin upon us, under the veil of holiness.
5. But is there no way to avoid the snare? Unquestionably there is. Our blessed Lord has marked out a plain way for his followers, in the words above recited. None who warily and steadily walks in this path, will ever fall into evil-speaking. This rule is either an infallible preventive, or a certain cure of it. In the preceding verses our Lord had said, Wo to the world because of offences. Unspeakable misery will arise in the world from this baleful fountain. (Offences are all things whereby any one is turned out of, or hindered in, the ways of God.) For it must be that offences come. Such is the nature of things; such the wickedness, folly and weakness of mankind. But Wo to that man, miserable is that man, by whom the offence cometh. Wherefore if thy hand, thy foot, thine eye cause thee to offend—If the most dear enjoyment, the most beloved and useful person, turn thee out of, or hinder thee in the way, pluck it out, cut them off, and cast them from thee. But how can we avoid giving offence to some, and being offended at others? Especially suppose they are quite in the wrong, and we see it with our own eyes? Our Lord, here teaches us how: he lays down a sure method of avoiding offences and evil-speaking together. If thy brother shall sin against thee, go and tell him of his fault, between thee and him alone: if he will hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, take with thee one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he will not hear them, tell it to the church; but if he will not hear the church, let him be to thee as an Heathen man and a Publican.
I. 1. First, If thy brother shall sin against thee, go and tell him of his fault, between thee and him alone. The most literal way of following this first rule, where it is practicable, is the best. Therefore if thou seest with thine own eyes a brother, a fellow Christian commit undeniable sin, or hearest it with thine own ears, so that it is impossible for thee to doubt the fact, then thy part is plain: take the very first opportunity of going to him: and if thou canst have access, tell him of his fault between thee and him alone. Indeed great care is to be taken, that this is done in a right spirit, and in a right manner.—The success of a reproof greatly depends on the spirit wherein it is given. Be not therefore wanting in earnest prayer to God, that it may be given in a lowly spirit: with a deep, piercing conviction, that it is God alone who maketh thee to differ, and that if any good be done by what is now spoken, God doth himself. Pray, that he would guard thy heart, inlighten thy mind, and direct thy tongue to such words as he may please to bless. See that thou speak in a meek as well as a lowly spirit: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. If he be overtaken in a fault, he can no otherwise be restored than in the spirit of meekness. If he opposes the truth, yet he cannot be brought to the knowledge thereof, but by gentleness. Still speak in a spirit of tender love, which many waters cannot quench. If love is not conquered, it conquers all things: who can tell the force of love?
Love can bow down the stubborn neck,
The stone to flesh convert;