Thou complainest much of thyself. Doth thy sin make thee look more at Christ; less at thyself? That is right; else complaining is but hypocrisy. To be looking at duties and graces, when thou shouldest be looking at Christ, that is pitiful: looking at them will but make thee proud; looking at Christ will make thee humble. In all thy temptations, be not discouraged. Those surges may be (not to break thee, but) to heave thee off thyself, on the rock Christ.
Thou mayst be brought low, even to the brink of hell, ready to tumble in; thou canst not be brought lower than the belly of hell, yet there thou mayst look towards the holy temple. Into the old temple none might enter but purified ones, and with an offering too. But now Christ is our temple, to whom none must come but sinners, and that without any offering, but his own blood once offered.
8. Thou thinkest, oh, what a monument of grace should I be! There are many thousands as rich monuments as thou. The greatest sinner did never pass the grace of Christ. When the clouds are blackest, then look towards Christ, the standing pillar of the Father’s love. His blood speaks reconciliation, redemption, liberty, nighness to God. Not a drop of his blood shall be lost. Stand and hearken what God will say, for he will speak peace to his people, that they return no more to folly. He speaks grace, mercy, and peace. That is the language of the Father and of Christ. Wait for Christ’s appearing, as the morning star. He shall come as certain as the morning, as refreshing as the rain.
*The sun may as well be hindered from rising, as Christ the Son of righteousness. Look not a moment off Christ. Look not upon sin, but look upon Christ also. In every duty look at Christ, before duty, to pardon; in duty, to assist; after duty, to accept. Without this it is but carnal, careless duty. Let sin break thy heart, but not thy hope in the gospel.
9. If thou hast looked at works, duties, qualifications, more than at the merits of Christ, it will cost thee dear. No wonder thou goest complaining; graces may be evidences, but the merits of Christ must be the foundation of thy hope.
When we come to God, we must bring nothing but Christ with us. Any ingredients of our own, will poison faith. He that builds upon duties or graces, knows not the merits of Christ. This makes believing so hard, so far above nature; if thou believest, thou must every day renounce thy obedience, thy sanctification, thy duties, thy graces, and nothing but Christ must be held up. Thou must take from God’s hand. Christ is the gift of God. Faith is the gift of God. Pardon a free gift. Ah, how nature storms, frets, rageth at this, that all is of gift, and it can purchase nothing with tears and duties; that all its workings are excluded, and of no value in heaven!
Consider, didst thou ever yet see the merits of Christ, and the infinite satisfaction made by his death? Didst thou see this when the burthen of sin and the wrath of God lay heavy on thy conscience? That is grace. The greatness of Christ’s merit is not known but to a poor soul at the greatest loss. *Slight convictions will but have slight prizings of Christ’s blood and merits.
*10. Despairing sinner! Thou lookest on thy right hand and on thy left, saying, Who will shew us any good? Look at Christ and be saved, all ye ends of the earth. There is none else. He is a Saviour, and there is none besides him. Look any where else, and thou art undone. God will look at nothing but Christ, and thou must look at nothing else. Christ is lifted up on high (as the brazen serpent in the wilderness) that sinners at the ends of the earth, at the greatest distance may see him. The least sight of him will be saving, the least touch healing to thee; and God intends thou shouldst look on him, for he hath set him on a high throne of glory, in the open view of all poor sinners. Thou hast infinite reason to look on him. For he will bear thy burdens; he will forgive, not only till seven times, but seventy times seven. It put the faith of the apostle to it to believe this, Luke xvii. 4, 5. because we are [♦]hard to forgive, we think Christ is hard.
[♦] “heard” replaced with “hard”
11. Hear what he said, I have found a ransom. In him I am well pleased. God will have nothing else; nothing else will do thee good, or satisfy conscience but Christ, who satisfied the Father. God doth all upon the account of Christ. Thy deserts are hell, wrath, rejection. Christ’s deserts are life and pardon. He will not only shew thee the one, but he will give thee the other. It is Christ’s own glory and happiness to pardon. Consider, while Christ was upon earth, he was more among Publicans and Sinners than among Scribes and Pharisees: and he hath the same love now in heaven; he is God and changeth not. He went through all temptations, sorrows, desertions; and hath drank the bitterest of the cup, and left thee the sweet; the condemnation is out. Christ drank up all the Father’s wrath at one draught; and nothing but salvation is left for thee. Thou sayst thou canst not believe, thou canst not repent: fitter for Christ, if thou hast nothing but sin and misery. Go to Christ with all thy impenitency and unbelief, to get faith and repentance; that is glorious. Tell Christ, Lord, I have brought no righteousness, no grace to be justified by; I am come for thine, and must have it. We would be bringing to Christ, and that must not be; not a penny of nature’s highest improvements will pass in heaven.