12. To say in compliment, I am a sinner, is easy; but to pray with the Publican indeed, Lord, be merciful to me a sinner, is the hardest prayer in the world. It is easy to say, I believe in Christ; but not to see him full of grace and truth, of whole fullness thou mayst receive grace for grace. It is easy to profess Christ with the mouth; but to confess him with the heart, that is above flesh and blood. Many call Christ Saviour; few know him so. To see grace and salvation in Christ is the greatest sight in the world; none can do that, but at the same time they shall see that glory and salvation are theirs. I may be ashamed to think that to this day I have known so little of the blood of Christ, which is the main thing of the gospel. A christless, formal profession is the blackest sight next to hell. Thou mayst have many good things, and yet one thing may be wanting, that may make thee go away sorrowful from Christ. Thou hast never sold all thou hast, never parted with all thine own righteousness. Thou mayst be high in duty, and yet a perfect adversary to Christ. In every prayer, in every ordinance, labour after sanctification to thy utmost; but make not a Christ of it to save thee; if so, it must come down one way or other. Christ’s infinite satisfaction, not thy sanctification, must be justification before God. When the Lord shall appear terrible out of his holy place, fire shall consume that as hay and stubble. This will be sound religion, only to bottom all upon the everlasting mountains of God’s love and grace in Christ, to live continually in the sight of Christ’s infinite merits (they are sanctifying, without them the heart is carnal) and in those sights to see the full vileness of sin, and to see all pardoned; in those sights to pray and hear, seeing all thy weak performances accepted continually, to trample upon all thy own righteousness, and be found continually in the righteousness of Christ only. Without the blood of Christ on the conscience, all is dead service.
13. Search the scriptures daily, as mines of gold, wherein the heart of Christ is laid. Watch against constitutional sins; see them in their vileness, and they shall never break out into act. Keep always an humble, empty, broken frame of heart, sensible of any spiritual miscarriage, observant of all inward workings, fit for the highest communications. Keep not guilt in the conscience, but apply the blood of Christ immediately. God chargeth sin and guilt upon thee, to make thee look to Christ the brazen serpent.
Judge not Christ’s love by providence, but by promises. Bless God for any way whereby he keeps the soul awakened and looking after Christ: better sickness and temptations, than security and slightness.
*A flighty spirit will turn a profane spirit, and will sin and pray too. Slightness is the bane of profession. If it be not rooted out of the heart by constant and serious dealings with, and beholdings of Christ in duties, it will grow more strong and more deadly, by being under church ordinances. Be serious and exact in duty, having the weight of it upon thy heart; but be as much afraid of grounding thy comfort on duties as on sins. Comfort from any hand but Christ is deadly. Be much in prayer, or you will never keep up much communion with God. As you are in closet prayer, so you will be in all other ordinances.
14. Be true to truth, but not turbulent and scornful; restore such as are fallen, with all the bowels of Christ. Set the broken disjointed bones with the grace of the gospel! Despise not the weak; thou mayst come to wish to be in the condition of the meanest of them. Be faithful to others infirmities, but sensible of thine own. Visit sick beds and deserted souls much; they are excellent scholars in experience.
Abide in your calling. Be dutiful to all relations as to the Lord. Be content with little of the world; little will serve. Think every little much, because unworthy of the least. Think every one better than thyself; loathing thyself as one fit to be trampled on by all saints. See the vanity of the world and love nothing but Christ. Mourn to see so little of Christ in the world. To a secure soul Christ is but a fable, the scripture but a story. Mourn to think how many are under church order that are not under grace. Prepare for the cross; welcome it; bear it triumphantly like Christ’s cross, whether, scoffs, mockings, contempt, imprisonments.—But see it be Christ’s cross, not thine own.
15. Sin will hinder from glorying in the cross of Christ. And omitting little things against light may breed hell in the conscience, as well as committing the greatest sins. If thou hast been taken out of the belly of hell into Christ’s bosom, and made sit among princes in the houshold of God, Oh, how shouldest thou live as a pattern of mercy!—Redeemed, restored soul, what infinite sums dost thou owe Christ! With what zeal shouldst thou walk, and do every duty! Sabbaths, what praising days should they be to thee!—Church fellowship! What a heaven, a being with Christ, and angels, and saints! What a drowning of the soul in eternal love, as a burial with Christ, dying to all things besides him! Every time thou thinkest of Christ be astonished; and when thou seest sin, look at Christ’s grace, that did pardon it; and when thou art proud, look at Christ’s grace, that shall strike thee down in the dust.
*Remember Christ’s time of love. When thou wast naked, then he chose thee. Canst thou ever have a proud thought? Remember whose arms supported thee from sinking, and delivered thee from the lowest hell, and shout in the ears of angels and men, and for ever sing praise, praise! Grace, grace! Daily repent and pray; and walk in the sight of grace, as one that hath the anointings of grace upon thee. Remember thy sins, Christ’s pardonings; thy deserts, Christ’s merits; thy weakness, Christ’s strength; thy pride, Christ’s humility; thy guilts, Christ’s new application of his blood; thy wants, Christ’s fulness; thy temptations, Christ’s tenderness; thy vileness, Christ’s righteousness.
16. Trifle not with ordinances. Be much in meditation and prayer. Wait diligently upon all opportunities of hearing. We have need of doctrine, reproof, exhortation, consolation, as the tender herb and the grass hath of the rain, the dew, the small rain, and showers. Do all thou dost as unto Christ, as immediately dealing with Christ Jesus, as if he were looking on thee, and thou on him, and fetch all thy strength from him.
*Observe what holy motions you find in your souls to duties; prize the least good thought thou hast of Christ. The least good word thou speakest of him from the heart, is rich mercy: O bless God for it! Observe, if every day you have the Day-spring from on high, with his morning dews of mourning for sin, constantly visiting thee. Have you the bright morning star, with fresh influences of grace and peace constantly arising, and Christ sweetly greeting the soul in all duties? What duties make not more spiritual, will make more carnal; what do not quicken and humble, will deaden and harden.