13. The last great temptation into which he fell, was that of denying to the body even what was necessary for its support. Though he worked hard at his own business, and spent his strength very much, in all the intervals of his work, in going up and down and exhorting the societies, he could not be prevailed on to take any cordial, or any thing for the preserving of his lungs. For a considerable time before he was sick, he wholly abstained from flesh. And even other victuals he took at his father’s table, as if he was stealing it; and it seemed by his manner, as if he seldom or never eat so as to satisfy nature. The error of this was not shewed him, till a day or two before he was taken ill: when he was fully convinced, that seeing the body as well as the soul is committed to our charge, we ought with prudence and moderation to use all proper means, for preserving the one as well as the other.
14. This temptation, I believe, began and ended, while he walked in the broad light of God’s countenance: which he enjoyed with little intermission for two or three months before his last sickness. Indeed it increased very much toward the period of his life: He saw the corruptions that remained in his heart. But though they were not destroyed, yet they were fast bound, so that they could not hurt him. The only shadow of doubt which he had was this: Whether the peace he had was not too great, while sin remained? But this was but a few moments at a time. And “e’er he was aware (he said) his soul flew back and center’d in God.”
15. On Wednesday, August 13. John Trembath, being ill of a malignant fever, and as it was believed both by himself and others, ready to depart, desired to take his leave of the family. Samuel stooped down to kiss him, and was immediately sensible he had caught the distemper. However he met the society in the evening, and was unusually vehement in prayer. Thursday, the 14th, he continued working at his trade, till about four in the afternoon. Being then obliged to leave off, he came in to his parents, and said, he was not well. He talked of sickness and death with as much ease as of going to sleep, and mostly with a smiling countenance. Towards evening he took his bed: As he lay down he said, “Once I laid on this bed, full of guilt and fears; but now they are all taken away. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for sending his messengers into these parts. Now is the harvest come. Now I shall reap the end of all my prayers.”
16. About nine his mother and I came to him, and he said, “mother, you are troubled about many things. I know you have a great cross now sickness is in the house, over and above the care of this large family. Father, you must bear your part. There is a want in you both. You are religious singly: But you are not free in confessing your faults and temptations one to another. It would be a great help, if you would set apart a time for this, for the family in general, once a week. God has made you an instrument of keeping his little flock together in this place. I believe you do it with all your heart. Let us do it chearfully, and he will greatly bless us all.”
17. He passed the night without sleep; but continually praising God, and exhorting all that came in his sight. To one who stood by him he said, “I opened my bible to-day on the cxii. Psalm. Take the prayer-book and find it.” She did so, and he took especial notice of the 6th, 7th, and 8th verses. “’Tis sweet (said he) to speak those words experimentally: He shall never be moved. He will not be afraid of any evil tidings; for his heart standeth fast, believing in the Lord. His heart is established, and will not shrink, until he shall see his desire upon his enemies.”
18. In the morning, Friday, 15. He was full of the spirit of grace, and of supplication: always expressing an unshaken confidence in God, and making strong intercession for the church. “O said he, could I but see the church of Christ, in peace and unity! Of one heart, and of one mind! then I should die rejoicing indeed!”
19. Three of the leaders of classes coming in, he said, “We have been neglectful in one thing, in not going more diligently after backsliders, and bringing back the sheep that were lost. O it is a great thing, to bring one soul unto the Lord! Let me desire you to remember it for the time to come.” One of them asked, “Shall I pray for you?” He said, “Yes: but do not pray for my recovery.” After praying, he asked, “How do you find yourself now?” He said, “Clear of doubt: full of God.”
20. The man coming to him who used to work with him in the shop, he said, “John, how is the case between God and your soul? Of late you have not been so earnest as you was. Why do you not join in the society? I believe you are kept from outward sin. But that will not do.” A few days after the man came to me, desiring to be admitted into the society, and saying, “He hoped the words would never go out of his mind, and that he should never rest till he knew the Lord.”
21. Speaking of some who were intangled with inordinate affection, and talked of their “wanting to know the will of God,” he said, “When we can give up our own wills, then we shall know the will of God. And when that is known and carefully followed, all temptations of this kind are at an end.”
22. He asked one[¹] who was much with him, “Are you willing to die?” And on her saying, “If I knew it was the will of God, I could lie down and not leave a wish behind:” He answered, “I think I am drawn two ways. I have a strong desire to depart and to be with Christ; but sometimes I am drawn a little backward, not knowing whether my abiding awhile in the flesh, may not be for the glory of God. These are two opposite points. When they are brought to meet, my way will lie strait before me.”