I remember once, one had foretold that doomsday should be upon such a day: although he blamed their daring folly, yet granting their suspicion to be true, he said, what if the day of judgment were to come, as it certainly will come shortly? If I were sure it were to begin within an hour, I should be glad with all my heart. If at this instant I should hear such thunderings, and see such lightnings, as Israel did at mount Sinai, my very heart would leap for joy. Through infinite mercy, the very meditation of that day ravishes my soul, and the thought of the nearness of it is more refreshing than the comforts of the whole world. Surely nothing can more revive my spirits than to behold the blessed Jesus, the joy, and life of my soul. Would it not more rejoice me than Joseph’s waggons did old Jacob? I lately dreamed that the day of judgment was come. Methought I heard terrible cracks of thunder, and saw dreadful lightnings; the foundations of the earth shook, and the heavens were rolled together as a garment; methought I saw the graves opened, and the earth and sea giving up their dead; I saw millions of angels, and Christ coming in clouds. I beheld the Ancient of Days sitting upon his throne, and all other thrones cast down. I beheld him whose garments were white as snow, and the hair of his head like pure wool: His throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him; and the judgment was set and the books were opened. Oh with what an extasy of joy was I surprized! It was the most heart-raising sight that ever my eyes beheld: I cried out, I have waited for thy salvation O God; and mounted into the air, to meet my Lord.
This was the condition of Mr. Janeway for about three years before he died. He had some clouds; but he usually walked in a sweet, even, humble serenity of spirit; having his heart fixed upon that rock that neither waves nor winds could shake.
CHAPTER VI.
His last sickness and death.
HE now fell into a deep consumption; but, this messenger of God did not in the least damp him. Spitting of blood, was no ghastly thing to one who had his eye upon the blood of Jesus; faint sweats did not daunt him that had always such reviving cordials at hand. It was matter of joy to him, that he was now in hopes of having his earnest desires satisfied.
After he had been a while sick, a hidden dimness seized upon his eyes: by and by his sight quite failed; and there was such a visible alteration in him, that he and others judged these things to be the symptoms of death approaching. But when he was thus taken he was not in the least surprized; but was lifted up with joy to think what a life he was going to, looking upon death itself as one of his fathers servants, and his friend, that was sent as a messenger to conduct him safely to his glorious palace.
But it pleased the Lord to raise him again a little out of his fainting fit, for his Master had yet more work for him to do. Although his outward man decayed apace, yet he was renewed in the inward man day by day: his graces were never more active, and his experience never greater. When one would have thought, it had been enough for him to grapple with his pains, he quite forgot his weakness: and was so swallowed up of the life to come, that he had scarce leisure to think of his sickness.
For several weeks together, I never heard the least word that savoured of any complaint or weariness under the hand of God. Now was the time when one might have seen heaven and the glory of another world realized to sense. His faith grew exceedingly, and his love was proportionable, and his joys were equal to both.
It was a very heaven upon earth, to hear and see a man admiring God at such a rate. Those that did not see, cannot well conceive, what a sweet frame he was in, for at least six weeks before he died. His soul was almost always filled with those joys unspeakable and full of glory. How oft would he cry out, “Oh, that I could let you know what I now feel! Oh, that I could shew you what I see! Oh that I could express the thousandth part of that sweetness that I find in Christ! You would all think it well worth the while to make it your business to be religious. Oh my dear friends, we little think what Christ is worth upon a death bed. I would not for a world, nay for millions of worlds, be now without Christ, and a pardon. I would not for a world be to live any longer: the very thoughts of a possibility of recovery, make me tremble.”