[♦] duplicate word “and” removed
Often when he has been disturbed in the silence of the night in ways more than natural, well knowing the cause, he has with much confidence, in the name of Jesus commanded the adversary to be gone; and he found it always according to his faith.
Riding one day with a friend, and talking as he was wont, of the goodness of God, and of the confidence which he found in him.——“Just then, (says he) my horse on a plain place threw me over his head. As I came to the ground, it was, as it were, sounded in my ears, ‘Will you trust God now?’ Yes I said, for ever! Through the mercy of the Lord I was not hurt. I saw an enemy had done it. I was thankful and felt no contrary emotion in my heart.”
One particular which ought perhaps to be reduced to this head, and which to some, no doubt, will appear singular, was a painful apprehension, which he sometimes had of dying. And what renders it the more observable is, that it was so even at those times, when he could truly triumph in Christ, knowing that he should be with him for ever. Of this we have the following account from himself.
“Saturday, December 1, 1753. After preaching I studied closely till ten. I found infinite sweetness in God; and much power breathed into my soul after all the mind of Christ. At present I am tempted chiefly with the fear of death. I believe my pardon is sealed by the blood of the covenant. I have no fear of hell, and yet I am sorely apprehensive of death.” Again,
“Monday 22d. I was this day, as I have been frequently of late much perplexed at the thought of dying. I believe my Redeemer liveth, and that I have an interest in his blood, and yet, notwithstanding, I am sore amazed at the thought of dissolution.”
And thus in reality it was with this servant of God; so that the uncomfortable apprehensions which he sometimes felt, even till near his end, in regard of dying must needs be ascribed, chiefly, to the permission of God to Satan, to exercise him in this manner; and may be considered as a thorn in his flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet him; perhaps partly for the easement of other tempted souls, and with regard to himself, thereby more fully
“To prove him, and illustrate his high worth,
Whose constant perseverance overcame
Whatever Satan’s malice could invent.”[¹]