To a gentlewoman he said, “You are come to see your old, dying friend; a wonder indeed, but a wonder of mercy. I am preaching still, and I would be so content to do, till these flesh and bones were wasted to nothing. *The God of glory appeared to me, and the first sight I had of him was such, as won my heart to him, so as it was [♦]never loosed. Many wandrings I have had, but I was never myself, till I went back to my center again.” He then rattled a little in his throat, and said, “This may be irksome to you; but every messenger of death is pleasant to me, and I am only detained here, that I may trumpet forth his praise a little longer.”
[♦] “ver” replaced with “never”
*About noon he said, “I was just thinking on the pleasant spot of earth I shall get to lie in, beside Mr. Rutherford, Mr. Forrester, and Mr. Anderson. I shall come in as the little one among them, and I shall get my pleasant George in my hand; and O, we shall be a knot of bonny dust.” Then he said, “It will not be all my sore bones, that will make me weary yet (as long as God gives me judgment to conceive, and a tongue to speak) to preach his gospel.”
Then with the utmost warmth he broke out, “Strange, this body is sinking into corruption, and yet my intellectuals are so lively, that I cannot say there is the least alteration, the least decay of judgment or memory. Such vigorous actings of my spirit toward God, and things that are not seen! But not unto us; not unto us; which I must have still on my heart, lest cursed self steal the glory from God!”
Some time after he said, “Good is the will of the Lord. Every one of these throws is good; and I must not want one of them: I must not fly from my post, but stand as a centinel, for this is my particular work. This would be hard work without Christ: but ’tis easy with him who is the captain of my salvation.”
He mentioned the pain in his head, but said, “In a battle there must be blood and dust. Every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood. ’Tis meet I should be so hard put to it, that I may know to whom I owe my strength. O that I were at the throne above, that my glimmering light were taken away, that this unsteady faith might terminate in vision!”
Then he said, “If I am able, though I cannot speak, I’ll shew you a sign of triumph, when I am near glory!”
To his wife he said, “My dear be not discouraged, though I should go away in a fainting fit. The Lord’s way is the best way. I am composed. Though my body be vexed, my spirit is untouched.”
*One said, “Now you are putting your seal to that truth, that godliness is great gain. And I hope you are encouraging yourself in the Lord.” As a sign of it, he lifted up his hands and clapped them. And in a little time, about seven in the morning, he went to the land, where the weary are at rest.