To two ministers who stayed with him while the rest went to church, he said, “If my head would bear it, I would fain hear singing. I do not find any change, and God has in some measure taken away my inclination to limit him, as to the hour.” He then joined in singing the latter part of the 84th psalm; and after singing said, *“I always had a mistuned voice, and which is worse, a mistuned heart: but when I join the temple service above, there shall not be one string of the affections out of tune.”
To some that came from church he said, “You have been in the assembly of God’s people, wherein communion with the Father and Son may be attained. These enjoyments are some of the most valuable to be had here, and the way to the rest which remaineth for the people of God. O how amiable are thy tabernacles even here! But how much more so above, where there is the eagle’s eye, that can see the glorious light, even the light of the Lord!”
*Then to the ministers he said, “When this trouble began, I expected no smile from God. I thought if I could steal away, creeping with terrors, to be plunged into eternity with a peradventure, it was fair. But he hath taken me out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock. I am nothing, less than nothing, a vile sinner; but mercy does all.”
In the night he caused the songs of degrees to be read, and said, “These psalms are so called (say some) because they were sung on the steps of the stairs that led up to the temple. And what fitter to be read to a poor sinner, that aims at climbing up the hill of God, where the great temple of God is?”
*8. Monday, September 22. At half an hour past two, he asked what hour it was, and said, “Early in the morning my friends shall be acquainted; for I expect this cough will hasten my deliverance. Well, well; I shall get out of the dark cloud; within a little I shall be in Abraham’s bosom; yes, in his, who carries the lambs in his bosom: and I am sure of goodness and mercy to follow me. O how good is he to a poor worm! Let us exalt his name together. It is the constant employ of all above, day and night. They see and sing; they have a clear vision. O when shall I see his face, who is fairer than the sons of men! Yea, who is brighter than the sun in his strength!”
To a minister he said, “Could I have believed (but I am an unbeliever) that I could have had this pleasure in this condition? Once or twice Satan was assaulting my faith. I waked in a sort of carnal frame, and I thought I had lost my jewel; but now he will stand by me to the end. *What shall I render to him? My bones are riving through my skin; and yet all my bones are praising him.”
After struggling with a defluction in his throat, he said: “This is a messenger from God to hasten me home. The other day I would have gone away without this glorious evidence of the grace of God. But this is more for my advantage, that I am thus tried and comforted. I said, Why are his chariot wheels so long a coming? But I will not say so any more. Yet a little while, and he that shall come, will come, and will not tarry.”
Then he said, “If I should say that I would speak no more in the name of the Lord, it would be like a fire within my breast.” And some looking at him as in amaze, he said, “Why look ye stedfastly on me, as though by my might or power I were so? Not I, but the grace of God in me. ’Tis the Spirit of God that supports me.”
To his wife he said, “Be not discouraged, my dear, at the unavoidable consequences of nature. ’Tis an evidence that there is but a very little time more, and death will be swallowed up in victory: the body will be shaken in pieces, and yet, blessed be God, my head is as composed as it was before my sickness.”
*Then to some present he said, “My moisture is much exhausted this night, but the dew lies all night on my branches, the dew that waits not for man, nor tarries for the sons of men. O what cannot grace do? How have I formerly repined at the hundredth part of this trouble! O study the power of religion! ’Tis the power of religion, and not the name, will give the comfort I find. I have peace in the midst of pain. And, O how much of that I have had for a time past! My peace has been like a river, not a discomposed thought. There have been some little suggestions, when my enemies joined in a league together, and made their great assault upon me. I had then one assault, and I was like to fall. But since the Lord rebuked them, there is not a discomposed thought, but all is calm.”