“3dly. I was clearly convinced, that not only my sins, but likewise what I called my duties, were an abomination unto the Lord. My righteousness appeared as filthy rags. The corrupt tree could not bring forth good fruit.”
“4thly. The same spirit convinced me, that I was an unbeliever; that I had not true faith, and therefore no part nor lot in the Lord Jesus Christ. As an unbeliever I was condemned already, and the wrath of God abode upon me, (John iii.) I assented indeed to every thing revealed in the bible; yet I now clearly perceived, I lacked the very true, Christian faith. I learned from the Methodists, so called, and had it confirmed to me by the New Testament, that whosoever has true faith, has with it the remission of sins,[¹] and is at peace with God. I read, that whosoever believeth, is born of God; and he that is born of God sinneth not:[²] but I sinned, and thence inferred, I had not faith, neither was born of God.”
[¹] [♦]Romans iv. 5. and v. 1. and viii. 1. John iii. 18. Acts. xiii. 39. 1 John v. 10.
[²] 1 John iii. 9. and v. 1.
[♦] Arabic chapter numbers replaced with Roman numerals for consistency.
“5thly. I was deeply convinced, that I could not help myself; that I was utterly unable to work, either repentance, faith or holiness in my own soul, and that it was by grace alone I could be saved.”
“6thly. I was without comfort, and miserable. My soul was grieved, and my heart fainted within me. I found labour and sorrow beyond expression. Worldly comforts availed nought. I had no rest night or day. When I prayed I was troubled; when I heard a sermon, I was pierced as with darts and arrows. Whenever I either read or conversed, still I was broken and bruised in heart. Thus was I stripped of all, and wretched, and blind and naked; having neither faith nor power, holiness nor happiness. Truly there was no sound part in me. All was wounds and bruises, and putrifying sores. Often I could neither sleep nor eat. The affliction of my soul so affected my body, that at length I was obliged to take to my bed.”
“7thly. I saw by the same light of the holy Spirit, the ground of all this, namely, Original sin. This I felt was the source of all my misery and helplessness. By one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all, for that all have sinned.[¹] Here I saw the root of all evil. Hence are we children of wrath; banished from God, and the tree of life.”
[¹] Romans v. 12.
This was his state about the year 1749. And in substance, I believe (tho’ all do not so circumstantially attend to it) this agrees with the experience of most of the children of God.