He well knew that to engage in the endeavour of saving souls from death, was to commence war with Satan, and all the sons of disobedience; nevertheless, being at length persuaded of the will of God, and not knowing how soon he might be in another world, the great concernment of miserable souls, prevailed with him to engage in it; concluding that if but one or two persons, might by his means be won to God, it would recompense any treatment he might meet with in the world. He was fully disposed to sacrifice his reputation, as well as life, to advance the kingdom of the Son of God.
He judged that the knowledge of languages, and other branches of human literature, are highly expedient, and in some cases necessary; but that however, they are not absolutely so, in order to qualify a man for preaching the gospel with success. He knew that he might understand sound doctrine, and hold fast a form of sound speech, without the knowledge of either Latin, Greek, or Hebrew. He nevertheless, at no time spoke disrespectfully of learning: quite the contrary; but yet perceived with adoration the truth of St. Paul’s words, with reference to the divine œconomy, in the management of the affairs of his kingdom: After that in the wisdom of God; according to his wise disposals, leaving them to make the trial, the world, whether Jewish or Gentile, by all their boasted Wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. (1 Corinthians i. 21.)
He well knew by this time, that it is the inspiration of the Almighty, giving heavenly understanding, which only, avails here; that the most shining abilities, natural or acquired, without the wisdom that is from above, and the anointing of the Holy Ghost, are, in the account of God, in respect of bringing sons to glory, lighter than vanity; nor better than sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. In fact, that the learning of the world, used otherwise, than in subservience to the true interests of Jesus Christ, in teaching, and vindicating simplicity, and purity of heart, and subjection in life to him, rather feeds the pride of human understanding, and makes a person more like Satan than he would be without it: but that rightly used, it is a good gift of God, and greatly conducive to his glory.
Indeed from his earliest days, he did not neglect any means which was in his power, for the cultivating his understanding. But he now set himself to this point; impelled as it were thereto from his being more abundantly pressed in spirit, concerning the matter which he had so long in debate with himself; which was now, every day, more plain to him. He therefore applied with all diligence to what he judged the most suitable studies; in which he spent the greatest part of his waking hours. The word of life had however, the chief share of his attention. He made this his one, favourite study and delight, from this time especially, till he could work no longer.
He read it much upon his knees, in the spirit of prayer. The following is a specimen only, of his continued practice, “Lord Jesus, I lay my soul at thy feet to be taught and governed by thee. Take the veil from the mystery, and shew me the truth as it is in thyself. Be thou my sun and star, by day and by night!” This was the way in which he sought for wisdom to win souls, and by which his profiting so visibly appeared to all men.
His increasing knowledge in the things of God, was an additional confirmation to him, of the divine appointment concerning him. The hidden treasures, and depth of truth in God’s word; his mysterious wisdom in the methods of salvation, were every day, more and more clearly revealed to him. The sealed book was now opened, and thereby, through the assistance of the Spirit of truth, his judgment grew clearer, and stronger, in the fundamental doctrines of repentance, justification and holiness. He professes that, if at any time he was in doubt concerning any point of doctrine, or the sense of any passage of scripture, his divine instructor convinced him, that either it was not needful for him to know it then; or if it was, directed him, either immediately by himself, through some divine impression, or the providential provision of some person or book, whereby his doubts were always solved.
The concern which he felt for the salvation of his neighbour still increased upon him, and a burning desire that every body might be as happy in the Lord Jesus, as he felt himself, engrossed all his thoughts. “The Spirit of God (says he) now convinced me clearly, not only of sin and of righteousness in my own soul, but likewise, how the work of conversion is to be carried on in the souls of others. I was athirst for divine knowledge. I desired to be ever in the school of Christ, learning the lessons of his grace. The glory of the Lord often passed before me in prayer, and the light of eternity shone upon my soul, while my Lord fed me as with marrow and fatness!”
CHAPTER XII.
He begins to preach.