*Afterwards the same morning, being asked how he did? he answered, “I am almost in eternity: I long to be there. My work is done: I have done with all my friends; all the world is nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy angels: all my desire is to glorify God.”
During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, he seemed to continue loose from all the world, as having done his work, and done with all things here below, having nothing to do but to die, and abiding in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul should take its flight, and go to a state of perfection, of holiness, and perfect glorying and enjoying God. He said, “That the consideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him.” He from time to time spake of his being willing to leave the body and the world immediately, if it was the will of God. He also was much in expressing his longing that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and Christ’s kingdom here might be advanced, notwithstanding he was about to leave the earth, and should not with his eyes behold the desirable event. He said to me, one morning, “My thoughts have been employed on the old dear theme, the prosperity of God’s church on earth. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God’s Spirit, and the advancement of Christ’s kingdom, which the dear Redeemer did, and suffered so much for. It is that especially makes me long for it.”
He once told me, that “he had formerly longed for the out-pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glorious times of the church, and hoped they were coming: and should have been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had been the will of God: but (says he) I am willing it should be as it is: I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten thousand worlds.” He expressed on his death-bed a full persuasion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly pleasing to his mind.
He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work of ministers; and expressed his longings, that they might be filled with the Spirit of God; and manifested much desire to see some of the neighbouring ministers, whom he had some acquaintance with, that he might converse freely with them on that subject before he died. And it so happened, that he had opportunity with some of them, according to his desire.
Another thing that lay much on his heart, and that he spake of, from time to time, in these near approaches of death, was the spiritual prosperity of his own congregation: and when he spake of them, it was with peculiar tenderness, so that his speech would be presently interrupted and drowned with tears.
*He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposals of Providence, with regard to the circumstances of his death; particularly that God had before his death given him the opportunity he had in Boston, with so many considerable persons, ministers, and others, to give in his testimony for God, and against false religion; and there to lay before charitable gentlemen, the state of the Indians, to so good effect; and that God had since given him an opportunity to write to them farther concerning these affairs; and to write other letters of importance, that he hoped might be of good influence with regard to the state of religion among the Indians, and elsewhere, after his death. He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merciful circumstance of his death, that he should die here. And speaking of these things, he said, “God had granted him all his desire;” and signified, that now he could with the greater alacrity leave the world.]
Monday, September 28. I was able to read, and make some few corrections in my private writings; but found I could not write as I had done; I found myself sensibly declining in all respects. It has been only from a little while before noon, till about one or two o’clock, that I have been able to do any thing for some time past: yet this refreshed my heart, that I could do any thing, either public or private for God.
[This evening, he was supposed to be dying: he thought so himself, and was thought so by those who were about him. He seemed glad at the appearance of death. He was almost speechless, but his lips appeared to move: and one that sat very near him, heard him utter, “Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.—Oh, why is his chariot so long in coming!”—After he revived, he blamed himself for having been too eager to be gone. *And in expressing what he found in his mind at that time, he said, he then found an inexpressibly sweet love to those that he looked upon as belonging to Christ, beyond all that ever he felt before; so that it “seemed (to use his own words) like a little piece of heaven to have one of them near him.” And being asked, whether he heard the prayer that was (at his desire) made with him; he said, “Yes, he heard every word, and had an uncommon sense of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word reached his heart.”
On the evening of Tuesday, September 29, as he lay in his bed, his mind seemed greatly engaged concerning the prosperity of Zion: there being present at that time two candidates for the ministry, he desired us all to unite in singing a psalm on that subject, even Zion’s prosperity. And on his desire we sung a part of the 102d Psalm. This seemed much to refresh him, and gave him new strength; so that, though before he could scarce speak at all, now he proceeded, with some freedom of speech, to give his dying counsels to those two young gentlemen, relating to the great work of the ministry they were designed for. In particular, he earnestly recommended to them frequent secret fasting and prayer: and enforced his counsel with regard to this, from his own experience of the great comfort and benefit of it; which (said he) I should not mention, were it not that I am a dying person. And after he had finished his counsel, he made a prayer, in the audience of us all; wherein, besides praying for his family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the ministry, and for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flourishing of religion in the world.
Till now, he had every day sat up part of the day; but after this he never rose from his bed.]